Can crazy, meddling (toxic) mothers destroy relationships and marriages?

Question

I've heard of several horror stories of meddling mothers that ended up destroying their child's relationship/marriage. It got to the point of causing break-ups, separations and/or divorces.

I heard about a mother taking her then 20 year-old daughter to their homecountry (the girl didn't want to go), meddling in her relationship so much, gossiping terrible things about the guy to others, lying to him about her being at a party to make him jealous, plotting schemes, etc. She practically controled her daughter's decisions and relationship. Now the woman is in her 30's, still in her homecountry with no future, unmarried and childless. She never fell in love with anyone else. The guy didn't have enough money to work on her case of bringing her back. Plus, he doesn't want to deal with the drama it caused just to be in that relationship. They went their separate ways but remained friends.

I know they say love conquers all but toxic MILS ruin things too? When you marry your partner, you're marrying the whole family too.

Yes

No

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GirlGuy

Updates:

1 y

The woman now blames her mother for ruining her future and the life she could've had. The guy blames it both on the mother and his ex girlfriend for having no balls to stand up to her mother and defend the relationship, defend him.

Answer 1

MzAsh | 91 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

You have to create and enforce boundaries. I’ve had to tell my meddling grandmother to back off a few times. She would try to control my husband through me. I had to tell her I’m not his mom and I’m not going to control certain things about him. We eventually got some distance from her and things are better.

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Answer 2

Aquariusmystery | 62 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Explorer

It depends. If she’s a nightmare and your partner doesn’t stick up for you, it’s going to cause major problems

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Asker

1 y
Yeah in the story I mentioned, what made it caused is that girl didn't have the balls to stand up to herself and the relationship. The guy was waiting for her to say ''enough mother, I'm not going to my homecountry, I'm staying with my love, I'll live with him now'' but she said nothing. She followed her mother. She was a girl with no backbone, no balls, suffering in silence.
Aquariusmystery

1 y
Yeah it’s a hard one because do you choose your mum or a guy?
Asker

1 y
Thing would've gone differently if she had chosen the guy and make her own decision. She would've been married already with kids, become a US citizen, have a good profession, learn how to drive a car and both would be earning a good income. They would've had a normal life.
Instead she let her mother decide for her. Her mother took her to a dead-end, wrong path with no future. The guy obviously hated that lady for years and it took him a long time to forgive her. What she did isn't someone minor. She altered two lives, the guy's (he's childless too) and her daughter's.

Answer 3

Asker

Yeah in the story I mentioned, what made it caused is that girl didn't have the balls to stand up to herself and the relationship. The guy was waiting for her to say ''enough mother, I'm not going to my homecountry, I'm staying with my love, I'll live with him now'' but she said nothing. She followed her mother. She was a girl with no backbone, no balls, suffering in silence.

Answer 4

Aquariusmystery

Yeah it’s a hard one because do you choose your mum or a guy?

Answer 5

Asker

Thing would've gone differently if she had chosen the guy and make her own decision. She would've been married already with kids, become a US citizen, have a good profession, learn how to drive a car and both would be earning a good income. They would've had a normal life.
Instead she let her mother decide for her. Her mother took her to a dead-end, wrong path with no future. The guy obviously hated that lady for years and it took him a long time to forgive her. What she did isn't someone minor. She altered two lives, the guy's (he's childless too) and her daughter's.

Answer 6

Siren777 | 103 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

Yes they can if you let them.

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Answer 7

ToastyOats

Xper 6

I told my mom to shove it, and you can too!

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1 Person

Answer 8

jahaims | 732 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Guru

If you let them

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Can crazy, meddling (toxic) mothers destroy relationships and marriages?

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