I'm sorry if this seems abit dark, but i just found out i have cancer at 24. My mom wants me to treat it, but i have absolutely nothing to live for. I don't have a job, i can't finish college, i have ptsd, depression and anxiety disorders from what i went through as a child with her, i have even developed seizures from it. I have went through every type of abuse possible. I can't have any kind of stable relationship. I'm "weird" i honestly feel so numb. I have tried every kind of medicine they have given me, it doesn't work, went to religion, affirmations, recreational activities, therapy.. NOTHING. It seems i wasn't even meant to be born my dad uses to beat my mom when she was pregnant with me, then he almost shot her before she went into labor, then when she did give birth i came out backwards with the umbilical cord around my neck, and sense then more scenarios where i almost lost my life, and I'm tired.. I just want to rest. She says im selfish but I'm tired of the constant abuse from family, i have no idea what i want to do with my life, everything i try at i fail, i can make no friends or relationships. The only thing that was keeping me alive was my dog and she is gone. I don't need pity right now. I just want to know am i selfish? All she wants me to do is clean and cook and get money from me from the state. I don't want to kill myself but making a bucket list and dying naturally from cancer is what I'd prefer.