Why did he friend zone me?!?! D:

Why do guys friend zone a girl? Me to be specific, now I will be the first to admit it couldn't hurt for me to lose about 30lbs but that'd be the last reason I'd suspect because he's practically an angel I swear nicest guy ever. I have asked him out on a date but he says "i don't want to mess with our friendship" so sadness for me </3 and the other night my friend asked him if he liked me and he "said nah we're just friends"

So I want to know:

1-why would you friend zone a girl?

2-how could I get out?

3-how could you stand to like someone but know they only want you as a friend?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys friend zone a girl for the same reason girls friend zone a guy: because there is some attraction aspect that may be missing and the person, unfortunately, thinks they're being nice by not telling the other person the truth while still allowing the person they're friend zoning to hang onto a small margin of hope that something will work out for them to be together when there actually, probably isn't. Ok, maybe that's only my experience, but that tends to be the case. There is something, however, that you do have that the other person can't give up: like a bangin' personality.

    Look, don't start getting down on yourself about your weight, because trust me for every guy that will look past you for that reason, there's someone who'll look past that for you. Trust and believe someone out there will be looking for you, just don't hang yourself up on one person (been there, made that mistake).

    Now to answer your question:

    1. The friend zone isn't some mystical prison where rejected people go to (romantically) die.

    I personally wouldn't friend zone a girl, I would just tell her I'm not interested but still be friendly to her when we were around each other, but respect and not cross a boundary that would give her the wrong impression. (like I said I've been friend zoned and it sucks ass)

    2. To get out is a very tricky thing. To be honest, if a person puts you in the friend zone you shouldn't want to try to be with that person. Never change who you are for someone else, because then they won't be falling for you they'll be falling for something that you're pretending to be.

    3. Trust me, that part sucks. In my personal experience, I was friend zoned by two girls (on two separate occasions) who liked that I treated them like I would a girlfriend (because I really liked them): ie, I would take them to lunch/dinner, listen to them about their day, especially the bad days and try to fix it/ make them feel better, etc. However, they apparently (although both denied it) obviously thought (key word, 'thought') that I lacked something they were looking for. They figured they could keep me around in the friend zone and date guys that couldn't or wouldn't do those things because I would do the things their bfs wouldn't (they could have their cake and eat it too). I fell for one of these girls pretty hard (to be honest still not really over her) so it is pretty hard to see/think about her, but its kind of like getting shots: It's gonna suck, but eventually the pain will go away.

    • I definitely agree about 2 that you should never change who you are just because you've been friend zoned because that would suck always having to put on some chirade. And just a thought, thinking back to December I asked him to a dance and he said yes but later found out he couldn't go but the dance was cancled anyways but either way he still felt bad that he couldn't go with me so why the hell..o would he go to a dance with me if he was just gonna friend zone me?

    • Some people are tough to figure out, especially in high school, but don't take what I wrote to mean that he doesn't like you. I'm sure he enjoys your company and hanging out, but he just may not be attracted to you in the relationship sense. Hey his loss.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He friend zone'd you because he's not attracted to you. That's all. It has nothing to do with "being too good of friends" - that speech is just a nice way of rejecting you.


What Girls Said 1

  • link OK I'm kidding,but I had to once you mentioned the weight thing.

    it could be that he's being honest about the friendship thing,it could be that he's not attracted to you,it could be that he likes someone else. and the reason remains unknown,and you can't really get out without that info

    and to 3.-you really can't stand it without hating him and every girl he ever mentions. you can deal with it and hope that one day he'll like you,or you can move on.