We just had mind blowing chemistry. Any Advice?

As a warning I know I sound ridiculously stupid in this situation.


I'm a college freshman. I live in a dorm with guys on one floor and girls on the other two. For the first month of school I avoided getting to know anyone on the guys floor because I did not want to have any awkward relationships with people in my building. I only knew a few guys down there: the RA, a kid from my philosophy class, a weirdo who always called me his wife because he overheard me say I was single, and the weirdo's best friend. Mr. Weirdo has also been said to be a player who messed with a girl down the hall and he causes lots of trouble with my friends.

I had a crush on another guy who is a junior. He is like a guardian angel to me. He always watches out for me and he made me feel super special. My friends all told me I should confess my crush after about a month of me fawning over him. I even asked on here if I should tell him. I did. He pretty much told me he isn't intending on having a relationship anytime soon and he doesn't want to be the guy that hurts me. SO NO.

I was feeling a little insecure even though it wasn't a rejection because of anything having to do with me. I still felt like my heart was heavy and my crush was one of those awesome ones where I felt giddy anytime he was around so that was gone and that made it harder to take.

This lead up to the Halloween party on campus and I decided to go as a slutty pirate. My group of friends was all from my dorm that night. The RA the Weirdo and the best friend were with us. We had a good time but when we got back no one was tired but the RA so we hung out all night. The weirdo, decided to keep trying to hold me and I decided I was tired and insecure enough that I would let him.

That was when I realized he smells amazing and he's actually not bad looking. By 4:00 it was just me him and two other girls. I was laying on his lap and he was petting my head. 7:00 came around and everyone but he and I was gone. Then 7:30 he kissed me.

We snuggled the next few nights and I slept next to him for two nights in a row and napped with him for days after that. He kissed me and held me and whispered sweet things and I really felt something for him but it made me feel weird because he never said we were anything. We weren't. He told me we were done after a week and the next day he was with another girl and they were hooking up.

My heart hurt and I hated him. He made me come talk to him and told me that he really wanted me and him to be close friends. I allowed it.

then he tried to snuggle with me the next time we hung out. Strike 2

He convinced me to come back but then I overheard my friends say "He complains about her weight all the time" and "he wishes he could have her personality in the girl he hooks up with's body" about me. Now I want to hate him but I'm finding that no matter how much I try to not think about him I still do. I hate him with every part of me but my wounded heart. Help?

The hard part is that we had a major connection mentally as well as physically and when were together he makes me feel safe. It's when were apart that I feel like he's just using me as a joke. I constantly want to run back to him so that he can tell me that it isn't true and he'll make me feel like his best friend again.. I know it's pathetic. It's easy to ignore him during the day but then as soon as I fall asleep all of my dreams are of him and I usually barely dream..


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's a wierdo, what did you expect?

    Nature is doing it's thing. It made you feel for him by messing with your hormones. That's why you now like him. Your nature is to get pregnant, and for that you need to spend a few months with him. Hence your longing to be with him and for him to hold you safe.

    It's all simple really and what's more is that you're smart and you know this, don't you?

    How many guys are there on your campus? How many guys are better than this douchebag? Exactly. Loads. Go on, find a good one!

    • You are awesome and yeah I did kind of think about that but my friends all kept acting like I was crazy for having something with him (when I know a few of them have had feelings for him too) and we didn't do anything like that but still just sleeping next to him and the way he treated me when things were good made me crazy. Now I just want to get him out of my head. <3 Thanks for making me feel a little less insane (:

    • You're the awesome one. Always trust your instincts. Sure, listen to advice, it can guide you and show another way of looking at it, but ultimately you will know what's right so listen to you.

      If you put two people together, especially at your age when you're at your most "perfect" for creating babies, then you're going to feel something for each other.

      It's just nature. Afterall we are only animals, don't forget that and it makes everything a lot easier to work out. Animal instincts rule.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • My advice stop talking to him ignore him and find someone who will treat you how you want to be treated he's clearly just using you or has some mentality that oh its college everyone just wants to hook up and no one has feelings.


What Girls Said 1

  • he sounds like someone who is only interested in sexual stuff. he may even have some weird fetish about sleeping next to a girl. my advice is to stop seeing him. if he says stuff behind your back and he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you then just let it lie. leave him behind and find someone who will appreciate you.

    • Lots of guys have that weird fetish of wanting to sleep next to a girl. ;-)