Is a girl who is kinda soft and kinda down on herself really THAT unattractive?

I am a girl in her twenties and I have a bit of self esteem problem (ha, who doesn't?) I've put on a couple extra lbs but seem to carry it off well. My family and friends say it's nothing to be upset about and that I'm fine but I just don't see it that way.

I have a relatively normal face, I guess. People have called me pretty, mind you I don't really see it.

I should warn you that I have a bit of a complex concerning my features seeing as how I was bullied about them as a young child...

Anyway, I am in the process of changing the whole weight thing and was wondering... Is a girl who is kinda soft and kinda down on herself really THAT unattractive?



Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't be so hard on yourself. Many people go through these things, shooot I have even gone through it. I think what pulled me out of it was not worrying so much about what people were thinking of my looks and my style or my features. I remember about 3 years ago I think I just got tired of feeling so down on myself (I will say I was about 25-26 at the time). I was missing out on life and sitting around feeling sorry for myself and I realized it wasn't cool. It wasn't good to sit around waiting for a chance to invite people to join in on my down time. So I decided to do something about it. I cut my hair off (I didn't go Britney, I got a nice little asymm. cut) and started shopping and doing things that made me feel good. I would pamper myself and soon enough began lifting my head up and showing a side of confidence. It was the best thing for me and a good feeling. The best I can tell you is gather your girls and get out there! Live your life, don't worry so much about your appearance I am sure you are a lovely girl. If you don't believe it, it's impossible for others to see it.

    btw I was bullied throughout elementary, junior high and highschool. These people who bullied you were probably haters :o)

    • Thanks so much for taking the time to write all that. Really.

      I will try to do the same, I kind've don't spend time pampering myself and it would probably nice to do it for a change. :)

      As for the bulling bit, yeah it was rough and it's nice to know I wasn't alone and that someone else has been able to come out of it feeling good about themselves.

      Thanks, again.

    • You are very welcome. Give some new things a try. Just do what you can to play an active roll in how you are going to feel good about yourself from day to day. It's all about making progess and some changes in your way of thinking. Being in good, positive company is also a bonus. So grab up a good friend or even a family member and do something worthwhile. If I could go back to 25 just to have a chance to enjoy that age I would, but now I am 29 and making up for lost time ;o)

      Live your Life.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'l rather like a girl who is kinda soft and kinda down on herself than an aggressive Barbie-clone.


What Girls Said 1

  • My best pointer is that confidence is extremely sexy and all men like confident women! Be comfortable with yourself and confident in who you are and you will do quite well. And if you're not confident, then learn how to fake it.

    • Good pointers on how to fake it, possibly?

      i find I might be failing miserably.

      i don't necessarily know if you can help me with the faking it question, seeing as how you are beautiful and wouldn't need to.

    • Aww you're sweet, thank you!

      Hmm, faking it... well my mom always said I was good at faking it before I actually got confident. I think being assertive and outgoing helps. If you don't let people get you down or walk all over you they'll assume you know what you want out of life. Always walk with your head held high and look people straight in the face.