How do you not have the mindset of not going into places wanting to look for girls?

how do you just like people say "let it happen naturally"

i seem to always be looking, and it gets me nowhere, what do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Simple... Just stop.

    Note that a girl catching your eye and you acting on it DOES NOT equate "looking for girls". The latter one actually indicates despair and insecurity.

    So the first step would be to eradicate those insecurities. You'll just need to realize that you WILL get a girl. Period. There's no need to go "hunting" for girls. Why? Because if you are yourself, the way you REALLY are, then It will. just. happen.

    Going on, whenever you feel the urge to "look for girls", consciously say "STOP!", and substitute something entirely different. Use affirmations to FORCE your mind into a different mindset. A simple example for this is a person who's not motivated at all thinking to himself "You can DO it!", amping himself up, and getting motivated.

    Granted, this only works if you use the right words for you, and connect the right ideas, thoughts, beliefs and concepts inside your own mind to these catchphrases. That is why you should first of all, get the right belief systems (starting with the one that says that YOU DON'T NEED TO GO OUT HUNTING! JUST BE YOURSELF AND IT'LL HAPPEN!).

    Another thing you should realize, is that having fun is better than looking for girls. Why? Because having fun is, quite frankly, attractive, and because having fun is FUN! Two birds with one stone, I'd say. When you totally internalize this mindset and practise it, you'll notice that you are able to just have fun with people without having an agenda, and as a totally unintentional side-effect, they get attracted to you.

    Another mindset you should incorporate is that people are INTERESTING! Every person has a sad, happy, adventurous, sexy, or otherwise cool story to tell, a best-selling book within them, and every person is absolutely a great person in one way or another. It is just great fun to get to know people better, and actually get to that very CORE of a person. And guess what? Aside from it being extremely interesting and fun, it ALSO has the unintentional side-effect that it is very attractive for a person to show sincere interest and involvement in another person's life. Again, two birds with one stone.

    And finally, and I know this is cliche, but it REALLY should be mentioned, you should JUST BE YOURSELF. Don't put up a mask. Just say what you want to say, and do what you want to do... Simple as that. Just. Do. It. So if a girl catches your eye and you want to say something to her, then just go up and say it, that's fine, as long as you don't go "where are girls? I want them!" *droool*.

    So, in short: the way you should quit actively looking for women and just "letting it happen" is to just do it. Change your mindset and really BELIEVE and DO the things above (and not just because they attract other people, but because they're FUN and INTERESTING!).


    -Have FUN!,

    -Look for the things that make others interesting, and

    -just be yourself. Say and do what you WANT to say and do.

    Hope this was informative enough. ;p

    Have a great day! ^^


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well, I mean you can always have girls on your mind just don't go out looking for girls or anytime you go somewhere trying to find a girl to hook up with. Just live each day doing your own thing and if a girl happens to show up who seems interested in you then just take it from there. Stay busy and focused on your goals and before you know it she'll be there.


What Guys Said 2

  • Just always be yourself, don't focus on other girls all the time. Be happy with who you are, focus on what you want in life at the moment, and someone who likes and does the same things as you will show up.

  • I'm in the same situation, so I just put it in god's hands. I've got to do some work, but hel'll do the match-making. Just don't worry about it, it'll happen in time.