When Is Flirting Too Much?

I'm recently married and in love, but I've noticed that I've gotten more sensitive to playful, harmless flirting than I used to be. I guess I'm just trying to be careful, but I'm wondering if I'm being uptight.

I go to an eye center where most of the doctor's are women. They are all good doctors, but the other day during an eye exam, one of them put her hand on my bare thigh for about three seconds. It was flattering, but I think she crossed a line. She was answering a question I asked about what muscle some guy she knew pulled (we were making small talk) and she said, "This one" and put her hand pretty high up on my thigh.

On the one hand I'm thinking it's no big deal and sort of an ego booster. On the other hand, I'm almost thinking of going to another eye center out of respect for my wife and out of some nervousness regarding that kind of "friendliness". I know I would never touch a woman I don't know like that,

After all, I'm a married man now. Thoughts?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe it was unintentional? Did she say it all 'seductive, look at me, wink wink, nudge nudge' or was it just spoken normally. Was she looking you in the eye and smiling or any of that? Or are you just reading way too much into it?

    Women can get away with touching men more then men can get away with touching women. To her it may have been no big deal. The reason she may have let it last that whole three seconds is that she may have realized what she was doing, while she was doing it, and was thinking things through. I am like that sometimes. Do things before I think of the consequence.

    If she didn't carry on in a flirt-like matter the rest of the time through the examination then I say you have nothing to worry about.

    But by all means if it makes you uncomfortable - switch offices or ask not to have her again.

    • Yeah, maybe you're right. When I was single, I would have just taken it as a compliment. I guess I'm just determined to be true to my lady and am being a little vigilant out of the gate.. Maybe I'll just go back and see what happens. If she does something like that again, I'll be concerned. What's the worst that could happen?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • she sounds like a total skank, what's her deal man?

    • I don't know. She seemed more classy than that to me, being this well-educated professional and what-not. I was surprised she could be that low-classed.

What Guys Said 1

  • I think the fact that you're having these thoughts is a good sign. I'd suggest that you talk to your wife. Tell her what happened and that it made you uncomfortable and that you're considering changing doctors. Let her decide then you've gone a long way towards building/ reinforcing her trust in you.

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