Did he imply negativity about my body? (skinny Indian guy)

Guy I like is from India. He's 5'9", freaky skinny, like 140 lbs prob. String bean arms.

I'm 5'4" / 107 lbs. I'm considered thin but not skinny. Girls have often said they envy that I am thin or whatever. Used to be thinner, like 103 lbs. Personally I think I'm kind of average for your typical Asian girl and I could lose a a few pounds (sounds silly I know).

Told this guy I was bored of my sports (vball, tennis) and won't be playing them anymore.

He said "What are you going to do for exercise?"

I said "I don't exercise"

(I never exercise, sports is a new thing for me just this past summer, before that played volleyball 2 years ago and otherwise haven't exercised lol)

He said "Aren't you going to put on weight?"

And that stung a little because no one has EVER said that I seem like the type to gain weight.

He said 'If I don't exercise I gain weight so then I run'

And I'm secretly thinking, why wouldn't you want to keep the weight, you are practically emaciated! "

I said "I am always like this".

He certainly didn't make me feel like he thinks I have a nice body.

He has never complimented my body before.

This was at a party, end of party he texted and asked me out and said he wished he had more time with me that night which was sincere. We were friends for a month before the party.

Should I be insulted?

Was he just being sincere as far as how he views exercise/weight gain?

Would he have said that to a super skinny girl so it wasn't aimed at my body type?

He was super attracted to a girl who was tiny/toothpick Asian girl at the party...like she was freaky skinny, prob 95 lbs at the most. But we both admitted we went to the party only to see each other.

Indian guys are welcome to answer!
And anyone is very welcome to answer!

He was matter of fact and not rude, it's just that I'm more used to people automatically thinking I don't gain weight easily.

But I'm trying to figure out if he isn't attracted to me physically because I'm not skinny enough for what he likes.

Also he's 30, I'm 34. We're not teens where it's common for people to be skinny.
4. Was excitedly drooling over a toothpick girl right infront of me and only really stopped when I let it drop that she came with another guy5. Can't hold his own w guys/no respect6. Dismissed as nerdy by myself for first 2 months and others
It's all good. I'm pretty sure this has all stemmed from my first asking HIM if he gained weight moving to south india. So I seemed food conscious to him first.

No mention of weight gain/food on the date its all good.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I think it was his bad English more than he thought bad about you. Probably he wasn't able to express himself well.Thats the way I see it. Its just cultural difference and you are I think little touchy about it.

    It will be rude if says the same thing frequently then you should tell him how you feel.I'm sure he won't do it again.

    • I am a few pounds heavier (literally just 3 or 4) so I am touchy about it, you called that accurately.

      Hopefully it is a cultural difference.

      But I also think he isn't wow'd by my thinness based on his stds (indian girls can be super super skinny) and his own body being insanely skinny.

      So we'll see. May be a deal breaker as far as if he insinuates anything less than flattering again he can go f*** himself and I in turn won't be so unvocal about his skinniness in this country.

    • Show All
    • 4. Was excitedly drooling over a toothpick girl right infront of me and only really stopped when I let it drop that she came with another guy

      5. Can't hold his own w guys/no respect

      6. Dismissed as nerdy by myself for first 2 months and others

      7. Laughs nervously in a non north american cultural way to speak which is lame

      8. I feel like I have to lose weight for this date. I don't feel good about myself because of him and it's not because I am sensitive to my weight, I was feeling good in my body

    • 9. Isn't strong/man enough for me

      10. Is too nerdy

      That I'm not going to go through with this.

      Listening to my gut the way a chick should. He makes me feel subpar which is ridiculous.

      But I will discuss it w my sister before being hasty I suppose.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Hes probably thinking that you do have a nice body and you not playing sports would make you lose it. As he said it about himself,the culture thing could also be a factor as his censoring might not be as nice youd like it to be.

  • He just asked you if quitting sports would make you put on weight. I mean, just for the sake of comparison, you described him as "freaky skinny", said he had "string bean arms" and that he was "practically emaciated". If you really want to accuse him of being judgmental, then you'd better take a look in the mirror while you're at it.

    • I'm not judging him, it's just fact as far as him having a very very rare body type. String bean arms provides an accurate description. When I was younger, I was 90 lbs, same height and I was freaky skinny and toothpick is an accurate description so that isn't a judgement on myself, it was reality, I got stares because I had an unusual body for this society.

      Thanks for your first sentence input.

  • As you have told 5'4'' and 107 lbs I don't think you are big or fat the way he thinks.You are not big at all. If he is consistently reminding you of your weight then you should tell him Good Bye.Its just a crush after all and you will get over it.


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