Looked through boyfriend's phone?

I recently, in a drunken state, looked through all of my boyfriends texts and found some from a girl. She was asking if he wanted to lay around all day. He didn't say yes but I feel deceived.

I've ended up profusely apologizing for being snoopy and looking through his phone. I know it was wrong.

How do I communicate to him that I know I was in the wrong, but so was he without him getting mad and storming off? He tends to get really defensive and has a hard time admitting he was wrong.

Is there any hope for this?

I should add that I'm 22 and he's 29. I'm sure that doesn't matter.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe the approach should be about working on your relationship. I think something is amiss and they key is to find out what it is and remedy it. Try to talk to him about his needs, wants, desires etc. and see if he feels fulfilled. Maybe he needs more attention or confirmation emotionally from you. Perhaps, you both need more couple to rekindle the relationship. If you both love each other and want to work things out then you have to communicate your needs to each other.

    I think you did make an error in judgment by going through his phone. It violated his privacy. On the other hand, he was also doing something "inappropriate" as well. Therefore, both of you are in the wrong. Rather than start an argument and make things worse, I suggest the angle I recommended above. You regret what you did so learn from this and don't repeat it. In the meantime, I think your focus should be on your relationship.

    Best of luck.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Think of what you're doing: you're about to accuse him of receiving a text from a woman. Is he not allowed? Must he ask permission?

    There is nothing to gain here. Keep silent. Let this die.

  • Drunken state? No excuse. You looked through your boyfriend's texts intentionally. BIG boundary violation.

    There's hope for this, but do you want what comes out of it?



What Girls Said 1

  • You need to fix your own issues (looking at your bf's phone) before you can even start thinking about what might be going on in that text..

    Anyways it would be best to not say anything at all and let it die, this will only turn out bad for both of you. I-hedoniste said it perfectly.

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