I don't understand! At all!

So I'm supposed to put on my makeup. do my hair. buy sexy clothes. wear heels. etc. etc. all that stuff that girls are supposed to do.

Either I do these things and get called a slut, whore, easy, high-maintenance, snobby, bitchy.

or I don't do these things and be called plain, boring, ugly, etc.

I don't understand. What are girls supposed to be like! How do you look feminine and sexy, without looking like you're trying to look feminine and sexy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You get called negative things by people for doing nothing but presenting yourself a certain way. If you are not rude to these people then the problem is with them!

    I noticed a long time ago that usually certain girls who react to girls who fit your description are JEALOUS! A girl who feels good about herself would not be so unnecessarily angry to someone who dresses up, unless of course the other girl happens to look better than her and she can't take it! If you see a bad bitch gettin shine you should love it! Well if you're confident you will. If not then you will hate.

    And when it's a guy doing that usually he is either frustrated that you seem unattainable to him or out of his league. Or maybe you turned him down. The guys who do that are haters too. Sometimes you can't win, girls who do look feminine are wanted but some guys hate them because they can't have them, and girls who do dress plainer make those same guys feel more comfortable but then they're mad at you because you look like that! Brush it off if you're doing something right people will hate. Don't let it get to you, they are obviously miserable if they will lash at you like that.


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What Guys Said 2

  • A large part of the issue is probably how you present yourself. If you look nice and are confident and happy with your looks, people are going to like it. If you dress to be sexy and AREN'T confident about it, then it looks like you're trying too hard to please people, which usually comes off as insecure and (possibly) easy.

    As for people calling you bitch/slut/easy/boring/ugly, who's doing it? Other women with the same tactic (i.e., competition)? Asshole guys? Do you really care what these people think?

    Dressing nicely doesn't have to be dressing slutty. Sure, that 40DD girl with camouflage band-aids over her nipples might turn heads, but nobody respects her for it. If you're looking to hook up with someone, dress slutty. If you're looking for friendship or a relationship, dress nicely, but not slutty.

  • Life's a bitch isn't it.


What Girls Said 4

  • You can't please everyone. Girls aren't "supposed" to be like anything but what makes them comfortable. Be it ultra high maintenance to hippy beatnik - and everything in between - it's up to you to determine what skin you're most happy wearing.

    In life, you will find no matter what choices you make, someone will be unhappy with it. So determine what makes you happy without the opinion of the ubiquitous "them".

    As for being feminine and sexy - why do you have to look that way all the time? It depends on my own mood when deciding the "look" I'm going for. Be it sexy and sassy, toned down and comfy, or wearing my soccer mom uniform - I dress the way I want not for the approval of the masses.

    Be yourself, and as many versions of yourself as you want, you don't have to pick one aspect and stick with it forever. Embrace who you are, whoever that happens to be at the moment.

    Good luck.

  • Haha! I understand exactly how you feel! Unfortunately, it isn' men that care so much as other girls. The sad truth is, girls are bitchy, and a lot of them will put down a girl they feel threatened by to help their horrible self esteem or to make them feel prettier. Guys like their girls to be real, yes they like their girls to be dressed up sometimes, but they like it just as much seeing girls relaxed or, as the song Best I Ever Had by Drake says "Sweat pants, hair tie, chilling with no makeup on, that's when you're the prettier, I hope that you don't take it wrong" If a guy likes you, he will like you regardless of whether or not you have loads of makeup on and perfectly done hair. The most attractive thing to a guy, well, physical features aside, is a good personality! LEt your real self shine through, and you will be beautiful regardless of whether or not you look like a movie star :) enjoy life, and love living it :) :) good luck, I'm sorry I can't be of more help

  • Just be yourself! Confidence in yourself is sexy. That's what is attractive to guys, not fitting into some stereotypical sorority model of pretty!

  • You don't have to go to the extremes.