Girls, if you were a guy, how would you effectively pick up girls in the club?

Think about it, and really put yourself in the shoes of average everyday guys trying to get a girlfriend out of a hook up. Some of us guys are so lonely that clubs are our last hope because is one of the only places where is "ok" to approach girls without getting the cops called on you.

  • I don't know how, all I can think about is alcohol, but girls don't like to get drunk by stranger guys.
    Vote A
  • I think for a guy to do this he needs to be very in shape, like top notch, and even then is not for sure.
    Vote B
  • Everybody thinks is confidence, but now that I think about it, most of us already have guys that bang us, we don't need other guys, sorry.
    Vote C
  • I don't know why guys think this is so hard, in my opinion if I was a random guy it would be very easy to do this because I know how to specifically to talk and act around girls. My detailed explanation about how is below.
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
If you choose D make sure you leave the explanation below, lol.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Focus on one girl and don't just try to pick up any one that crosses your path. Girls want to feel special and like your attention is only on them. If she makes it clear she's not interested THEN move onto another girl, but until you have that answer, concentrate on one girl, and one girl ONLY.

    • Except that women will find themselves more attracted to a man who's able to socialize with lots of girls; if he focuses too much on one girl, he's more likely to come off as needy and desperate. It's fair to say that you shouldn't just try and pick up anything that walks by, as this will be just communicate "I'll take anything I can get." Going down the line, one girl at a time, until one says yes? Disaster. You'll look like a loser.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • i wouldn't, because after being a female I'm not blinded by my desire to have sex and know that hooking up with strangers is dangerous (stds, robbery, etc)... Get laid the old fashioned way ... meet a nice girl and actually put effort into getting to know her.

    • So the guys that bang you in the past put a lot of effort in getting to know you? I mean, did they went and asked many questions about you and then you say, ok this guys wants me, is that how really went?

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    • I've never hooked up with "guys at a club" ... all guys I knew well.

    • I bet your requisites were very lame as:

      -He had to have experience or at least have other girls beside me like him before

      -He had to be very social and have many firiends and do a lot of activities

      -He has to be one of those guys that is the leader in his group of friends

      Whatever, whatever, whatever.

  • Talk to girls like it was just another friend. GIrls and guys are really not that different. The best trick is to make it seem like your in a competition with a friend to get the most numbers. You would stunned to know how many girls will actually help you out so you beat your friends.

    • Guy: "Hi"

      Girl: *walks away*

    • @dharness I like your answer that's actually a good mindset for newbies like me, but maybe I should just say it to my head (this is just a contest it should not be a big deal) without mentioning to them, otherwise they would give not give me real numbers, and if they do I bet they will not pickup when I call them back lol.

  • This isn't really something that you should put as a survey. You should put it as a question, because none of your answer choices are really accurate, and it's not likely that they would be. You're not a girl, and so you don't think like a girl. Maybe try to put this out as a question if you want a good answer.

    • It's actually both because you can always just leave your answer without voting, by the way what's your answer?

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    • Obviously your perspective as a woman is valuable, but so is my perspective as a man. I've actually tried the methods you've suggested, and let me tell you that they simply do not work. A "nice gesture" is not attractive. Unless you look like Brad Pitt or you're obviously wealthy, it is going to look try-hard at best and cliche at worst. Sure, the woman might be flattered by it, but let's face it, she probably won't see him as a potential suitor.

    • Isn't it fair to say that a woman would rather have a guy who's confident, socially intelligent, and challenging, than a guy who is "nice" "predictable" and "you're-so-much-hotter-than-me-can-I-buy-your-love?" Sure, a man should treat a woman well, after she's his girlfriend or if they're on a date. A club is neither of those things. If a guy is that eager to commit his resources to a woman before he even knows her, it screams "loser".

  • Make eye contact with the girl, or look to see if anyone is trying to catch your eye. If she seems to be checking you out, just give a small smile of recognition and go back to talking with your buddies. A little later be in the same area as the girl...if she's looks at you again, or returns your glance...well...say something to her...or if she's dancing..start dancing nearby (if you can dance)...the key is to make sure she's interested somewhat before approaching her...the worse...random touches or grabs by drunk men...ick!

    • That's not cool, because sometimes you simply don't get signals at all, no matter how well you are dressed

  • treat her like she's royalty, but at the same time show her you're dominant. Smile devilishly, get her drinks, dance with her, show her your flair.

  • be confident, be well groomed nothing says no way more then B.O., be respectful, ask us if we would like a drink, or like to dance, if you say hey and she walks away, don't think of it as you got rejected, cos she probably lost out not you, just think ok, maybe ill try again, with someone else I find attractive, also although alcohol can be a brilliant source of confidence... don't drink too much, having a drunk man who is slurring and falling over and spilling things on you is really embarrassing, take numbers, that's pretty much it! its all about confidence, being respectful, and smelling and looking good!

    • All good except that by saying "would you like a drink?" or "would you like to dance?" the guy has immediately communicated that he has a sexual agenda, and this immediately puts him in rank with the 10 other losers who've already asked her. Better to talk to her and her friends first, get to know them, and see if there is chemistry. THEN you can dance or talk to her in private if things go well.

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    • Do you mean respectable or respectfull? If you mean respectable and not respectfull what do you mean by that?

    • It's not at all a crime to ask to buy her a drink, but personally I wouldn't do that unless it was a date.

      Of course "can I buy you a drink?" communicates a sexual agenda. Why else would a guy in a club offer to buy a girl a drink? Think about it. If half a dozen other guys already used that exact same line, and it was clear that they wanted to sleep with her...what is she going to think when another guy says the same thing?

  • You just have to be confident, and don't smell like BO. Is not difficult.

    • When a guy asks to buy you a drink without even knowing anything about your personality, isn't he being confident?

      When a guy rudely barges into your conversation and ignores your friends, while clearing hitting on you, isn't he self-confident?

      When a guy starts grinding you on the dance floor without asking, isn't he being confident?

      It's not "just" about confident, it's not "just" about any one quality. It's about being self-confident, socially intelligent, and as you said, well-groomed.

    • That's very true. You have to be polite, and not act like an idiot or be over confident.

    • Actually I have seem many guys doing the ignoring friends and grinding, having a lot of success in the club. So it can be confusing.

  • You need confidence.

  • Ummmm I went to the club a little while a go and this guy came up behind me and put his hands on my waist and said something like "how bout you come dance with me and... " I don't even remember. I was thinking why is he touching me?.. haha yea so dnt touch them before you talk to them. I hate wen I'm dancing and a guy comes up behind me and thinks ima get low for him..

    oh and then a few minutes later this guy started talking to me and his breath was sooo bad omg. and he was breathing in my face..

    I chose C.. just because I wouldn't want a random guy in the club to bang me. Usually I never find anyone worth sleeping with in the club anyways..

    If I wanted to have sex with someone it would probably be with someone I knew.. or already had sex with because they know wut I like :) haha

    but I suggest another way to pick up girls than at the club.. unless you just want to have sex I don't think its a good place to meet a girlfriend

    • So base on what did you choose the guys that bang you already?

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    • Are you being sarcastic?

    • Of course not, I think the whole whore/slut label is ridiculous. Now cheater and lier that's a different story.

  • -dress nice

    -be in shape. depending on the girl you want. generally HOT girls that most guys are attracted to have higher standards so they can afford to be picky. so to have better chance with a girl like that you do need to have a better body

    -look confident and self assured

    -look around and have a good time

    -make eye contact with a girl you're attracted to. if its a few secs of eye contact and then she smiles at you go holla at her

    -talk to her like A PERSON. don't think "omg she's a girl" okay so what? have some positive light flirty small talk, break the ice, make her laugh and have good vibes. its not really as hard as you think just notice who wants to talk to you. you have to be better at reading body language. if she looks like she doesn't want to be bothered, she doesn't want to be bothered.

    • Sounds like an advise from a guy, but thanks for sharing. Funny thing is that like you said, most girls that I find attractive would not usually give that invitation smile you are referring, I guess the best thing to do is go in either way.

      Anyway, you said, the positive light flirty small talk, break the ice, make her laugh and have good vibes, then what? lol.

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    • Getting with the hotter girls has little to do with having a better body, it's more about understanding their mindset and using social skills to communicate that you're equally valuable. Understand that they've been approached by tons of guys already, so you have to be the exception to the rule and have a unique and different game plan. Be exceptional and confident in yourself and she'll see that. Respect the rules of the game.

    • @artistboy, what I meant is that most people would not usually ask to join you for a conecrt when you don't even know their name, but I was probably guessing wrong and you meant a conversation with someone you already know for at least more than 10 minutes.

What Guys Said 1

  • Tips:

    - Dress with status for the environment. (Including but not limited to hygene, etc)

    - Go to the gym at a reasonable rate, don't make the gym your life, but do make it a priority

    - Great tip :: Learn how to use comedy to MAKE OR BREAK TENSION.

    - Learn how to "be yourself" while being natural (relaxed and outgoing).

    - Don't try to attract every girl in the club, though it's fine to carry a conversation.

    - Great tip :: Have fun and be social.


    When you're at the club, don't sit back and "post up" like many guys do; if you do you'll only line yourself up for spectating what's happening around you. As an alternative, get off your butt and speak with other people. You don't have to speak ONLY to women, infact I advise you not to "speak only to women"... SPEAK WITH EVERYONE! Have a genuine time and a fun night.

    - I started off being HORRIBLE about talking with women. After plenty of months just speaking with them and being real (human), I noticed a keypoint. You will feel if she is interested, just by paying attention. If you're talking with her and she is staring at you from across the room, yet you talk with her and she is shy/quiet (nonresponsive + fidgeting + stuttering etc) you can start to feel that she may have a bad past and isn't ready to jump for a relationship. Take it slow and just have fun, with every girl. They respect that you respect yourself enough to take things slow, and it's also a double brownie-point at the fact that you aren't trying to sleep with them on the first date.

    ... Fast forward ::

    You met a great girl at the dance, you guys talked about anything and everything, but your left with a gut feeling like she isn't interested. Should you try to get her number? "Why not?!" is my answer.

    - You feel like things are going good with the conversation, you like who she is, but your letting your fear presume control. You are intimidated that she may not be interested. Well if you don't try to escalate things, you may doubt yourself for a more prolonged time, and you wouldn't have given her the opportunity to show interest. Shocking realisation: 99% of the time, nothing bad happens. "What does that mean?"

    -- "99% of the time, nothing bad happens" - means: "Damn near most of the time you try to escalate things with women, they won't reach over and backhand you. They won't try to stab you or pepper spray you.. They won't try to hurt you in any way. They usually come back with statements of being currently comitted or not being interested, etc"... So why not try?

    People always second guess their abilities, but I'm saying that every guy that posts in this thread, hell... Almost all the guys in the world, have every conversational tool that they need to speak with women, already at their disposal. They just need to put those tools to use.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Its easy you just have to: compliment. be funny. be interested or at least act it. and not act like a player.

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    • That blog listed above, is just a general understanding from one male. Once you have a perspective on the generals of dating, you can learn to bend that perspective into your own, making it work for you and your situation(s).

      - It doesn't hurt to read through that given information, because it provides a lot of great perspectives and at no cost to the reader.

    • @nevershout What do you mean act like a player?