Is it a curse? Am I not attractive to men's point of view?

I am 24 years old, and until now, no man has felt an attraction to me, not the ones who I wanted or at least think as a good prospectors. Men and guys have only seen me as only a work colleague and maximum as a friend like everyone in general.

Why is it happening? Am I cursed in not having a deeper relationship than a female friend? Why can't I attract someone who can be a good and formal boyfriend?

I am too friendly, except when I feel someone wants to mock me or is aggressive towards me. I am sometimes shy, when one feels uncomfortable towards me, I leave him/her alone unless there is work to do. I am responsible and I want to help the others.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's a hardcore no-BS question to ask yourself..

    "Why should a guy approach you?"

    No really. Give it some thought..

    After you're done with the whole "because I'm a nice person, and a good girl, and I'm not mean, I'm very loving and want a relationship" speech.. take a moment to let that rhetoric leave your system completely..

    People don't want anyone just because they're "nice"

    People are greedy a-holes.. very selfish.. and the question to everyone is..

    "what can this person do for me? how am I better off with them than without them?"

    For women, the answer is very complicated..

    "he validates my emotions, he either makes or has money, he's cute or attractive, he's great in bed, I like the feeling I get knowing how jealous my girlfriends are and how much they secretly envy me, etc.."

    Of course, most women would rather die than blatantly admit to any such thing.. Instead, it's usually phrased as..

    "I want a guy who listens to me, who is nice and sweet, who is doing something with his life, has ambition, knows what he wants, takes care of himself, blah blah blah"

    as Pink Floyd would say.. "Money.. it's a hit.. don't want none of that good good good bullsh*t"

    enough with the analogy.. back to guys..

    for guys.. the answer to "how am I better off with her than without her?" is fairly simple

    With her: sex, emotional closeness & intimacy - time & money

    Without her: time & money

    without attraction however, sex & emotional closeness & intimacy is worthless & useless.. it's actually a negative.. a guy would feel like he's wasting a huge part of his time on this earth.. to be with a cripple, a genetic cripple, to breed and procreate other genetic cripples.. (and that's why he doesn't do it)

    everything starts at sexual attraction.. the unconscious mind tells the guy that this woman is otherwise a useless form of life.. she can't economically sustain herself, if left alone, she would probably never discover ways to get to the moon, or make electricity, etc.. but compared to other useless forms of life.. she's more attractive than the rest.. so if I have to choose one to mate with.. it would be the most attractive..

    that's the starting point.. sex is the starting point.. AFTER that point.. what we consider emotional closeness & intimacy is the understanding that this attraction to each other, is mutual.. and that our genetic information is mutually prized & valued.. and more likely to continue to be so in the future, for generations to come..

    So if you're wondering why Oprah has a hard time getting laid.. it's not because she's broke or a loser.. clearly.. it's not because she's stupid.. it's not because she's not a nice person.. or good.. or because of her past sexual history.. it's simply because she's not that attractive..

    But in life.. you have to learn to ACCEPT the cards you're dealt.. and learn to play them the best you can.. instead of asking for a new hand you'll never receive..

    • You're dropping into conclusions very quickly. I've seen horrendously unattractive girls having boyfriends and having sex, yet attractive "unpolished diamonds" who don't. Mark my words, any girl, except those who are seriously genetically ill (with mental retardation and stuff), can significantly improve to become attractive. It just takes hard working effort (VERY hard).

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Looks. Darling, as shallow as it sounds. It really helps. In fact, guys first approach a girl who looks physically appealing (because they don't see or know anything else). I don't know how physically attractive you are, and you don't need to qualify yourself to random guys over the Internet - but this much I can say.

    I don't want to be dropping into conclusions, but if you are really physically unattractive then you know it yourself. If that is the case, there's plenty that can be done to improve your physical attractiveness. If that isn't the case, there are other reasons for not being approached; the two most common of them is 1) seeming unapproachable due to attitude, and 2) not going out to places where guys feel comfortable approaching women.


  • It's the physical attraction that draws a man in, and the mental and emotional bonds that keep him close to you.

    I don't want to jump to any kind of conclusions but... maybe it's time for some kind of makeover? Nothing drastic. A change of wardrobe, a new haircut, something like that.

    It's wonderful to hear that you're a friendly girl and you have good enough emotional awareness to realize when others are uncomfortable around you, however as shallow as it may sound a guy won't begin a conversation unless there is some physical attraction... usually.

    I'm not saying it's the end all, be all here but I think maybe trying to make yourself look... "prettier" might be a good way to go.

    And, if all else fails, it's fine to show a man you can be confident and start up a conversation with him.

  • It's impossible to tell when the only thing we know about you is that you are a 24 year old female.

    • I agree with Thiez on this one, you need to tell us more...has any guy ever approached you? How easy-going and friendly are you? Attitude is key.

  • i know how you feel. and I know other people who are truly beautiful but have the same problem. but I wonder if its how we act if its something that turns people off. all of who are really truly nice and genuine people. it seems like any more everyone wants the party goer and the bad boy or bitchy girl. so I guess we are forced to wait till the others grow up and realize its not what they really want


What Girls Said 2

  • dressssss more flirty.

    wear make up


    • As shallow as this can sound, that can play a big part at times.

      There is this woman - When I first met her, I was impressed. And as we've gotten to know each other, she was attractive because of personality. Her looks weren't what was making her impressive.

      Recently, she took a vacation, and ever since she's been back, she's been wearing makeup, doing her hair... and I admit, my mouth dropped wide open. I was actually speechless; I think I could only get out a "wow" when I talked to her.

  • Dont just resign yourself into feeling cursed. Evaluate your physical appearance and see what you can do to become more attractive, carry yourself with confidence and learn how to flirt.