I am 24 years old, and until now, no man has felt an attraction to me, not the ones who I wanted or at least think as a good prospectors. Men and guys have only seen me as only a work colleague and maximum as a friend like everyone in general.
Why is it happening? Am I cursed in not having a deeper relationship than a female friend? Why can't I attract someone who can be a good and formal boyfriend?
Most Helpful Guy
He's a hardcore no-BS question to ask yourself..
"Why should a guy approach you?"
No really. Give it some thought..
After you're done with the whole "because I'm a nice person, and a good girl, and I'm not mean, I'm very loving and want a relationship" speech.. take a moment to let that rhetoric leave your system completely..
People don't want anyone just because they're "nice"
People are greedy a-holes.. very selfish.. and the question to everyone is..
"what can this person do for me? how am I better off with them than without them?"
For women, the answer is very complicated..
"he validates my emotions, he either makes or has money, he's cute or attractive, he's great in bed, I like the feeling I get knowing how jealous my girlfriends are and how much they secretly envy me, etc.."
Of course, most women would rather die than blatantly admit to any such thing.. Instead, it's usually phrased as..
"I want a guy who listens to me, who is nice and sweet, who is doing something with his life, has ambition, knows what he wants, takes care of himself, blah blah blah"
as Pink Floyd would say.. "Money.. it's a hit.. don't want none of that good good good bullsh*t"
enough with the analogy.. back to guys..
for guys.. the answer to "how am I better off with her than without her?" is fairly simple
With her: sex, emotional closeness & intimacy - time & money
Without her: time & money
without attraction however, sex & emotional closeness & intimacy is worthless & useless.. it's actually a negative.. a guy would feel like he's wasting a huge part of his time on this earth.. to be with a cripple, a genetic cripple, to breed and procreate other genetic cripples.. (and that's why he doesn't do it)
everything starts at sexual attraction.. the unconscious mind tells the guy that this woman is otherwise a useless form of life.. she can't economically sustain herself, if left alone, she would probably never discover ways to get to the moon, or make electricity, etc.. but compared to other useless forms of life.. she's more attractive than the rest.. so if I have to choose one to mate with.. it would be the most attractive..
that's the starting point.. sex is the starting point.. AFTER that point.. what we consider emotional closeness & intimacy is the understanding that this attraction to each other, is mutual.. and that our genetic information is mutually prized & valued.. and more likely to continue to be so in the future, for generations to come..
So if you're wondering why Oprah has a hard time getting laid.. it's not because she's broke or a loser.. clearly.. it's not because she's stupid.. it's not because she's not a nice person.. or good.. or because of her past sexual history.. it's simply because she's not that attractive..
But in life.. you have to learn to ACCEPT the cards you're dealt.. and learn to play them the best you can.. instead of asking for a new hand you'll never receive..1