I'm not good looking....is it possible to get a quality girl?

I'm probably a 5. But the good thing is that I have a lot of personality, I am smart, I can make people laugh, and I know a lot of things (i.e. sports, movies, music, books).

But I get the feeling that some girls are adverse to getting to know me because I'm not that good looking.

A recent episode highlights this. There was a girl I began talking to in one of my classes. She sat next to me every time so eventually I began to chat with her. She's a beautiful girl. I made her laugh and flirted a bit and I asked her for coffee and bought her it. But then, literally, the next day, this really good looking, well-built guy (probably a 9) in our class talked to her once when she was sitting with me and then the next class invited her to sit with him and then the girl started sitting next to him and now I sit alone.

Now, I've talked to this guy before several times--had him in my other classes before--and I can say confidently that his personality is pretty average. That's just my assessment.

If I can be discarded so easily because she'd rather be seen with that other guy, is it ever possible for me to get someone pretty with personality? Or is that just how things are?


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She liked you as a friend. Get over it. We can't help who we are attracted to.

    My question for you is----

    You were attracted to this girl because of her LOOKS. She was attracted to the other guy because of his LOOKS. Yet you judge her for doing the same thing yourself. Get it?

    Reality check --

    You're an average guy. don't go for the model girls, go for someone in your own league. Harsh. But true.

    • No, I didn't just like her because she was pretty. I didn't say that. I just said she was beautiful. I liked her because she was funny and fun to talk to.

    • But that was after you got to know her. you were initially attracted to her because of her looks

    • But if we can't help who we're attracted to, then how can I "choose" to go after someone from "my own league"? Should I just not try the next time I'm attracted to a pretty girl?

What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly I think she's doing you a favor by sitting next to the attractive guy, hear me out. This girl spent her effort on getting to know you, and when you were kind to her, she ran away to the attractive guy. Hmmm, yeah it sounds fishy to me too ;)

    Honestly, you're probably not a 5. You have a strong sense of structure to the english language, you are respectful in the way you speak about others, and you have a sense of composure that isn't like "Omg I liked her, why why why.. I love this girl and..."... Yeah.

    So what I'm saying, is that we all have attractive qualities; and we do have the ability to gain more attractive qualities, it just takes time; building your body or developing your mind.

    - Check out this website, it'll help alot: link

    I'm always here if I can help. And yes, you have more opportunity than you give yourself credit for.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • See, I know all my "non-look" traits aren't a 5, as you said. But I know they far outweigh my looks.

      I mean, I was kind, but I was flirt and not too nice. I've learned that much from all these years that being a nice guy gets you nowhere.

      But if all my "non-look" traits can go for naught, diminished just like that in a second because of my looks, wouldn't it be difficult to ever get anywhere with an attractive girl?

    • Show All
    • Thanks. That's reassuring.

      I have a problem with the outgoing bit, though I'm getting better. I used to be a really shy guy, but now I've made an effort to start talking to people sitting next to me (especially girls). Any tips for me? I'm not truly comfortable in a group setting....I'm still more of an individual.

    • Then the group setting is where you need your practice =P

      You can work your way up at a pace you're comfortable with; try walking around the mall and talking to the different cashiers - Malls usually employ young attractive females. Then after that, you can escalate towards speaking in groups by joining a public-speaking class or going anywhere else to socialise with your friends: Nightclubs/Latin dance class/etc..

      The easiest way to conversate in groups, is to have knowledge to speak about.