Why do they say "don't get tied down right away"?

I've never dated before, and granted while it's because I've only ever been rejected, I've still never had a girlfriend so I don't know where this comes from since I don't have the experience.

Friends have told me you shouldn't get tied down to just one girl, but why? If I'm going out with someone I like, I would hope it lasts as long as possible and it leads to marriage. Of course if it doesn't work out for one reason or another then that's what it is, but why would I aim to not make it last? I don't get it. I personally want the first girl I get into a serious relationship with to be with me forever


Most Helpful Girl

  • Because they've had the girl that broke there heart and got really serious. It'll all make sense after your first girlfriend. Cause the first girl you go out with your an idiot about. You're going to spend way to much money on her and ditch your friends and do everything you possibly can to make her happy, you're going to get to attached fall in love want to be with her forever and then she's going to take your heart and smash it into little tiny pieces. I know it sounds horrible and you'll say to yourself I won't make those mistakes but will all have or will it's how you learn. & after that you don't want to get attached you want to go out and have fun, not have those feelings that hurt you so much. So you'll probably go and sleep with randoms or something like that plus when your 18-21 your still trying to find yourself you have gone through college, met new people started your career become who you're going to be for the rest of your life. People change and you have to find out who you are and she has to find out who she is so people do sometimes need to play the field find someone that'll match with yourself.

    Don't worry about what your friends say, just do what your "heart" tell you. I know it's corny but you gota do what you feel or your going to end up with a lot of what ifs and regrets. Just be careful it's a really tough world and you will get hurt more than once and it'll be the worst thing you've ever felt but it'll all be worth it


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What Girls Said 3

  • Guys in the market want to experience all types of girls, they just want to date around and don't care about the girl (sometimes). I know guys like that. But there goes guys like you who want one girl forever correct? Well sometimes it doesn't always work with the first girl you meet, maybe once you get deep in the relationship things start to change; you both have different interests and want different things.

    Your friends sound like my ex's friends. They told him not to be tied down to me because he can cheat on me with other girls, but he didn't do that which was very sweet of him, but who knows what he truly did. Btw I was his first girl, he wanted to marry me, have kids with me and yada yada. Believe me all that changes in the relationship.

    Date one girl, if you guys have nothing in common gently tell her its not working out and move on. At least that's how everyone does it these days. Its only a matter of time before you start dating different girls and you'll adore it I'm sure.

  • Everyone is different and they say that because they want to get a taste of all they can so they can say they have had every experience possible dating-wise. WIth high divorce rates now days marriage in general is risky especially when you're married young. It's a good idea to date around to know what you're looking for and what you truly want. A lot of the time things don't work out and your friends don't want you to get discouraged. But, if you feel you're with the right one go for it.

  • Because they are in the state of mind that they enjoy being single and not tied down to a person. And they think you should feel the same, but your actually being a lot more mature then them.


What Guys Said 4

  • The last thing you want to do, is jump into a relationship where you "think" that you understand love. Most people go through very difficult and lengthy relationships (12+ years, 3 kids, shared property, mutual ownership of the home, etc) that they do not love their partner as much as they had thought.

    - My first point.

    The next thing that you don't want to do: Is fall for someone that's abusive, and become so god-damn booty blind that you can't see it. They will suck your energy dry while beating you up (physically OR emotionally) until you finally are kicked out of their life.

    - My second point

    And the biggest thing you want to avoid, is throwing out the opportunity to live your life. Lot's of my friends seem to think that they won't find someone special if they don't settle down by the time they are in their early 20's. The main reason that people feel that way is because they start to find out who their true friends are versus their group of friends (They start to narrow down their opportunities to socialize). There is absolutely NO reason to settle down unless you have been fortunate enough to find someone you truely, genuinely, love and confide in. It's very rare.

    - My third point.

    So there's three reasons for you alone, out of multi-millions of reasons.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

  • It's great to want that but usually that's not how the world works, simply because you will not be the same person now that you will be years from now so it's important to be honest to yourself and be able to let a girl go when things are not going good. Some guys get married way too soon and get "tied down" into relationships because they think that that is the best they can do

  • Largely because it is very likely that who you are now isn't who you will become. Part of that is having the experiences that shape your adult perspective. I know a lot of people who married their first lover. Most of them are divorced in fairly short order because you are still changing rapidly and really can't make long term promises because the future isn't clear yet.

  • You need to date the good, the bad, and the middling before you know what works for you. You don't really know the kind of girl you like to date yet.

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