How do you react when a female doesn't have a flat stomach? (In public)?

Basically! I'm not a skinny girl (no hate to girls who are) & I like to flaunt my curves. My tummy has never & never will be flat. I would have to do some extreme exercising & nearly starve myself to achieve that. Which is just fucking stupid & I refuse to do that. Anyway! I went out with my boyfriend the other night. I wore a body-hugging sweater dress & some killer gray knee high boots. I was feeling GREAT. I was strutting like nobody's fucking business. Then all my confidence faltered when some idiot walked up to my boyfriend & I with this: "Oh wow! Congrat, what are you having?" *gesturing to my stomach as well* Then when he saw my clearly shocked & angry face, he simply said, "Ohhh... from back there... you looked like you got a bump." All I could muster was to flip my hair, walk away & shout "THANKS!" till he shut up. I literally wanted to just cry. I felt so fucking pretty that night & some wrongly chosen words broke me down. Is it just me being crazy or is it SO RUDE to comment on a woman's "bump"? Because you can't always tell, OBVIOUSLY, who's actually pregnant. UNLESS you have a flat fucking tummy of course! So I feel like, it's best not to even say anything at all. Save yourself from looking like a complete douchebag & hurting a "fat" chick's feelings.

  • Do you ask them if they're pregnant?
    Vote A
  • Do you call them fat?
    Vote B
  • Or are you polite & keep any rude thoughts to yourself?
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't react at all. I don't care.
    Also, because you were talking about trying to get a flat belly, I wanted to say something. A completely flat belly for anyone with a uterus is not physically possible. Your uterus actually is tilted forward and pushes out against your lower belly. So there is actually an organ in the way.

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    • I never said I wanted a flat stomach. I don't understand why everyone is reading my post & assuming I hate my body. There may be some unwanted fat I'd like to get rid of at some point, but I'm already working towards that goal. Thanks for the advice anyway though, your above statement is a great addition to the debate.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I never comment unless she's like 8 or 9 months and it's clearly obvious se's pregnant. Don't beat yourself up about it too much, soooo many girls are suffering from the same peoblem as you. I have a friend who has killer looks, but she also has a bump that won't go away and she's complained about it a lot before, but now she just doesn't care because she knows she's got other things to flaunt. Same as you. Can't even imagine how awful that must have been, but you're not the first and definitely won't be the last. I think it's appropriate to not comment because you never know, especially if you're a guy cause then you're just even more clueless about it. And honestly I wouldn't care if you had a tummy if you walked by, I'm more of a " I notice if people have confidence" kind of person. That's the only thing I notice, really.

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    • Thank you, such nice words. I was really taken aback by it, so it hit me harder than I expected. It wasn't the first time it's happened to me, but the last time was in high school. Where you expect lowly, disrespectful treatment towards others to happen. Which it shouldn't! But unfortunately, I've learned high school drama stuff never ends. I snapped back into the confidence gal I am the day after, so it's fine. Mama didn't just give me curves, but a tough attitude to boot too! lol Again, it just hurt in the moment, because it felt like my bullying I dealt with in school all over again.

    • Thanks for mho hun and never lose that good attitude of yoursπŸ’‹

    • Thanks you! You def deserved the spot for your politeness & words of encouragement.

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What Guys Said 31

  • Some guy just ran up to you and asked about your body? Who is doing that? Even if you think someone is pregnant? What autistic Fuck is so excited by someone else's pregnancy that they run up to a stranger and start asking them questions? Like. I guess it's different if he asked about your cool guy boots. But your stomach? That's just weird. In public I don't talk to people about their bodies. Or anything really. They are doing there thing, I'm doing mine. It's like my hair, I'm a white guy, with really long wavy hair down to my tits, and everyone wants to touch it and call me Thor and shit. Why? I'm not even blonde. Why do people care about other people's bodies? Retardery. Anyways. Don't feel bad. Idiots do stupid things all the time. Clearly he wasn't mentally stable if he's just running up to strangers and asking them questions about their bodily functions. It's not a reflection of yourself, or humanity in general. Most people see a curvy girl and think nothing. We are too busy living our lives and not caring about other people's stomachs.

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  • I love petite and short girls with flat tummy... Flat tummy is sexy as hell... Everyone loves it...

    I think if it bothers you what others think about you so much then you should go to the gym and workout a little...

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    • I never said there was anything wrong with skinny girls. So you can fuck off with telling me I need to go to the gym. I don't need to impress you. Did you miss the statement about how I have a boyfriend? He clearly loves me no matter how I look. Also! Who are you to assume I don't make healthy choices? Just because my stomach pokes out even a little bit? You're just as much of an asshole as the guy who ridiculed me in public.

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    • *told her to workout

    • Of course, I'm insecure. Years of harsh bullying to someone who has been diagnosed with depression & anxiety from an early age. Insecurity is just part of my baggage sweetie! Still, most everyone is insecure about something. Even if it's a very small, insignificant detail. So stop pretending you're Mr. Perfect. Not fooling anyone.

  • Aww, let me give you a *hug*. That guy was an idiot, alas, there are plenty of them around! Of course, no one has the right to erode the confidence of somebody else. In this case, the guy didn't expect to be causing any harm, so I guess he was mortified? But unfortunately, it would be unrealistic not to encounter naysayers in any sphere of life. I guess it's a test of your confidence. If you truly believe in what you say, then some random comments shouldn't topple them, although that may seem unrealistic. You might have some wobbles (jeez, no pun intended), but you should still stick with what you believe in, or question why you find it so hurtful). There's definitely things that I'm sensitive about. If someone is capable of really shaking your sense of self, it always calls one to question, in a non superficial sense, as to why. It doesn't mean that you're wrong necessarily, just simple that you're not as confident in it as you think? However, I can understand why this special case would be particularly offensive and unfortunate!

    With regard to this notion of having a flat stomach or not. Well, I think there's a few issues at play. Obviously, people have different orientations and different outlooks. To me, I workout and move a lot, and have a solid flat stomach and very low body fat. I value that, perhaps at the expense of other things in life, and consequently, I kind of expect some reasonable fitness from a partner. But it's not about aesthetics, but really about fitness, and how you feel. There are stark consequences for eating, thinking and (not) moving in the 'Western' way, in my opinion. And they're all negative. I felt disgusting when I just ate like everybody else. I don't particularly have to watch what I eat, I just do some basic things such as not eating when I'm not hungry (genuinely hungry), chewing thoroughly and eating slowly, trying not to eat too many animal products (which probably make us all too big), and not too many sugary, refined or heavily industrialised products. Diets based on whole grains, beans and vegetables should keep the worst excesses at bay!

    Just my highly personal opinion!

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  • i'm not fat, perfect BMI, but my ex girlfriend was obese, yet she was incredibly cute and i loved her for 3 years, with all myself. don't listen to immature people judging you just for a not flattened stomach.

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    • I may not support unhealthy lifestyles. But if she was happy & felt confident about herself, then that's her right. No one should ever try taking that away from someone. Yet, there are better ways to show concern for someone's well being. Especially in regards to their health & living out their life as long as possible. I've lost a lot of family members due to heart failure & diabetes brought on by obesity.

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    • honestly here in Italy we eat very well and we have an healthy diet, except maybe in south Italy where obesity is higher cause they eat too much fried food. there's not so much obesity like in US for example

    • I know, I did a lot of research & Italy was one of the top places that popped up. Asian countries being the top though. They take health very seriously, especially in Japan. Which I honestly admire, because they also uphold public decency & respectful/polite treatment towards others. I hate being an American so much sometimes. I know that may sound ungrateful, considering what some other countries have to deal with. But sometimes it doesn't feel that great to live here.

  • Well I dont like flat girls and I think they are not worth to be stared because there are no feminine curves on their body. Its okey if you have a little fat on your stomach its not a big deal, I like girls who are curvy and has shaped ass not only me most of males think like that.

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    • I wouldn't say all males, because there are quite a few in these comments who are ridiculing me. Yet, my boyfriend keeps me feeling desired, so their opinions shouldn't matter so much after all.

    • Lol they are not man at all.

    • I believe it's okay for people to have different preferences. Yet it isn't okay to put other people down to make someone else seem better. So you could be right about them not behaving how stereotypical men should.

  • If they present themselves in such a way that it draws attention to themselves I may go up to them and point out that she may not have picked the best attire to hide her stomach but truly I don. t know why I would care in the first place

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    • Why is it your business to point it out though? I know how I look & am completely aware that I'm not skinny. If I wanted to hide my belly all the time, then I'll just wear sacks over myself 24/7. But sacks aren't cute & don't make me feel pretty.

    • What i said with my comment is if you dress in a way that draws attention to your stomach, almost as if you are showing it off. I would just make a comment incase she didn't relize. And like i said at he end of my comment thats if actually feel like giving a shit in the first place, 99% of the time i could care less

  • I don't even have rude thoughts on it. Fatness is not the decider of how good someone looks, so it's not something I'm going to judge on. If it's so much that it seems super unhealthy, I find that unattractive, but still am not going to judge someone as bad based on it.

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  • But if you're fat, this type of confusion is bound to happen, just try to loose some excess fat... so no one gets confused again!

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    • I have tried just about everything to make my stomach flat. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Just face it, not every woman's body is meant to be skinny. I would have to starve myself & do dangerous things to achieve a perfect thin body. I refuse to do that. I'm not in the wrong here & it's just as rude of you to imply that I am.

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    • look you're the one that asked for an honest guys opinion, I just gave it it to you, if that offends you, then frankly I don't CARE!

    • There's a difference between being honest & just being rude. It's called having manners & tact.

  • there is no winning in this game so yeah, stfu random dude >:^(

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  • I just mind my own business and I never go out of my way to insult someone

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  • I rarely notice if a female has a flat stomach or not. I don't have any thoughts about it. I simply don't care about the way a woman looks.

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  • I call them "Fatty fatty 2x4 can't fit through the kitchen door".

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    • Except that I can fit through doors. I also can fit through tiny spaces. Such as the space between a car & Sonic menu , while I'm carhopping. So you're just being rude making such assumptions.

    • The kitchen door must be wide.

  • Doesn't really matter.
    If a girl has/does not have a flat stomach then there is nothing wrong with that.
    Unless it bothers me.
    and it should bother me if I know the girl and it is a medical condition.
    otherwise not.

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  • Hmmmm unless the guy is a total moron, OOOOR your tummy looks indeed like you're preg, this shouldn't have happened...

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  • this type of girls is the most attractive and beauty girls i ever see

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    • Thank you for the compliment, but I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. I wish there wasn't any hate regarding how any girl looks.

    • look for your know
      most of cute girls like you are so kind and they look more attractive
      I curvy too. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

  • It's not intrinsically "wrong" for him to vocalise his suspicions of your pregnancy, but you're at least equally justified to disapprove of him in doing so.

    I bestow upon thee this relevant Mark Twain quote:
    'tis better for one to keep their mouth shut and allow people to think they are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.

    I don't think your specimen followed the above guideline.

    As for me, I'm self-absorbed anyway, so I don't care much for the features of those around me unless they're particularly notable.

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  • It isn't important. What she thinks about herself is.

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  • I wouldn't comment even if you were pregnant. None of my business. If it makes you feel bad though, it's because deep down you know you should lose some weight.

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    • "Need to lose some weight"? By who's standards? Because by a pro nutritionist's viewpoint, I've been on a healthy path beginning from 3-4 years ago. I feel bad, because I was a chubby girl in school & got brutally bullied for it. Even though, I clearly did need to lose weight then, the harassment I got was very much uncalled for.

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    • Tell me something I don't know? Even still, I nor anyone else outside of the "norm" deserves being ridiculed for how they look. Especially in public settings! I stand by what I said about that guy being a rude asshat & that I don't need to change my body for anyone else.

    • Agree completely. In fact see my original answer.

  • I FREEEEEAK WHAT THE HELL!!!

    lmfao

    I dunno? it happens lol

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  • I couldn't care less

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  • Do you just don't pay attention and stay happy just like them?

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  • "some idiot"

    You have your answer already.

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  • Fat is fat. πŸ™€

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    • Okay, well then I guess I'm fat & I'm fine with that.

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    • no, fat as in fatty acids fat cells etc. you cannot live without fat. Look at people with 3% body fat. It looks gross and can be life threatening. This whole obsession of people being stick and bone and ''fat being fat'' is just stupid. if you are at a healthy body weight then you are good, even if you have meat on your bones. people who think skinny=healthy are idiots.

    • @applesandoranges22 Oh, lol. I thought you were basically fat-shaming me & being sarcastic with your comments. I'm sorry for lumping you in with those sorts. My annoyance is probably clouding my judgement at the moment. Forgive me...

  • i couldn't care less honestly.

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  • How am i supposed to react? It wouldn't bother me.

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  • I can care less.

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  • not sure what to say about it smh

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  • "Dont comment on a girl about pregnancy unless you are 100% sure." Dont listen to him if you are happy with it font listen to anyone. But if you want to get slimmer you dont need to starve yourself you just have to avoid unhealthy food and eat 500 calories less than your bmi

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    • Oh trust me, I know all about burning unwanted chubs. My mom was a fitness instructor & health enthusiast for about 8 years while I was growing up. That's part of the reason it hurt my feelings too, I suspect. I've been doing so much better in regards to living healthier than my actual "fat past". I haven't drank soda or super sugary drinks in... I wanna say almost a year. It's been a hot minute since they have touched my lips. I still occasionally enjoy fried foods & sweets, but I make sure to limit the intake. So it really was unnerving & just uncalled for with how that man treated me.

    • if you are living healthy like this others opinions dont matter

    • I know they don't matter & I should just ignore it. But it doesn't stop it from upsetting me, y'know?

  • that guy sounds pathetic. Honestly unless he is half retarded he would know not to just walk about to random girls and ask if pregnant. A belly is not bad as long as it isn't to much or hanging but if you really feel bad but like the rest of your body just work on your stomach by doing situps.

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    • I appreciate that you're trying to give helpful advice. But again, some people will never have a "perfect" flat & skinny body figure. That's just reality & that's okay! I don't hate how I look one bit. I may have days where I do feel like shit sometimes & become sensitive, but I'm a human being! I can't always feel good & be happy 24/7. I was more upset by the fact that someone had the audacity to do that to me & act as if they didn't do anything wrong.

    • Also sit-ups are for toning abs muscle that is already there. Full body cardio is what actually burns fat away. So all the one body part, specific (get a great butt!) (get abs in six weeks!) are pointless. Unless again, you are already on a full cardio exercise regime. My mom was an exercise instructor for about 8 years, so I learned some stuff.

    • like I said, a belly is not bad. It bothering you is another story. also you said you like your curves so much, so I assumed you did not want to lose weight all over. Anyways, abs actually do burn fat as it involves heat and friction besides the muscle factor. You can even squish your stomach and over time it will even lose its fat

  • I try my best to not make assumptions and talk to them like normal until I am told otherwise by the female or their SO. And until then I try hard to not be an ass.

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    • That's how I feel it should be. It's just irritating others don't understand that simple concept. EVen if some would tell me "Oh, he was just being nice, in case you were!" So? In the event, that I was pregnant. I wouldn't want every fucking person always commenting about it. I could dread being pregnant for all they know & giving up the baby for adoption. So I think people should hold their congrats & questions until the mom in question shows excitement & mentions how far along she is.

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    • That's a good way to be. Bravo for being a decent human being, I really truly appreciate that.

    • *Bows.* I try my best. :)

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What Girls Said 17

  • I am skinny but I appreciate thick and curvy women with their stomach. My mom and other women get soo insecure about their stomachs and I think its silly. Like my grandma said (god bless her soul), if you want the butt, you have to keep the gut. Well you could always do extreme exercising but why when you are wonderfully made.

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    • You're so sweet. I just wish all body types could be celebrated equally. A person's body evolves many times within their lifetime. It's not always going to look perfect, so why hate yourself for something you can't control right?

    • @Asker, agreed.

  • Do you really think people care about your stomach wen they walk in the street? :/ No one watches it, at least I am not interested in other people's stomachs.

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  • Some people I wonder wtf is wrong with them why they blurt out such socially inappropriate things. That's my pet peeve. That goes along with telling a woman her roots are showing or she looks tired or some other rude comment that should never happen in polite conversation. Some people just aren't all there upstairs I guess.

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  • That guy knew that you were not pregnant. He was just being a jerk. I'm sorry you encountered him but luckily not all guys are like that. I think most guys wouldn't be bothered by it and wouldn't say anything. The ones who would aren't worth it anyway.

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  • I keep my thoughts to myself. But those thoughts do cross my mind.

    I just know better than to say it to their face, though.

    Obviously not all women have flat stomachs. And you can tell if someone just has some fluff or is pregnant up to a point. But if you're large enough in the midsection to be confusing... I don't know... wear more flattering clothes?

    Not saying you shouldn't wear what you want to but there's a trade off. You either wear what you want to and deal with people making assumptions or you wear clothes that flatter your frame in a way to make you not look pregnant.

    I don't know.

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    • Thank you for being understanding & trying to offer advice. Sorry, but I won't be changing how I dress. If I did, that would mean I couldn't wear anything but flowing shirts & dresses for the rest of my life. While those are sometimes cute options, I love fashion too much to stick with one genre of clothing,

  • the person who opened his mouth was definitely in the wrong and should have kept his trap shut, esp. if he was some rando on the street.

    i don't body-shame anyone, regardless of what s/he looks like or is wearing.

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  • I'd never make a comment if I saw an overweight person in public, or if they didn't have a flat stomach. I'm not mean like that. I'd never laugh or ridicule anyone for their appearance.

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  • WTF are those options, there is nothing wrong about having not a curvy stomach

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    • I didn't say there was anything wrong with either way. It seems like girls can't win no matter how they look sometimes. This is just something that happened to me, when I am curvy & it hurt my feelings.

    • you shouldn't get hurted by that :( Only people who aren't happy about their own body are doing things like that. Degrading someonelse makes them feel better about their own looks, and that's so cruel :(

    • How am I degrading others? I feel you completely misunderstood my post. I want everyone to be able to feel beautiful in their own way. So I really don't appreciate you accusing me of being someone I am not.

  • Normally I don't notice. Don't care.
    That dude sounded high or drunk, no one walks up to a random person to congratulate them (even if they really are pregnant).
    That's a douche move on his part.

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  • How someone else chooses to dress is none of my business. I may have rude thoughts about people sometimes but I keep them to myself.

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  • I keep my thoughts to myself and say rude offense things about fat people in my private time. I would never say it to their face. thats just crazy.

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  • It was confusion most likely. Don't take it personally. If he was truly trying to offend you then that's petty of him. One guy's opinion means shit.

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  • I do nothing. But I know some people who take bus ask them if they're pregnant (to give them their sit)

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  • I have no reaction.

    I know fat women

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  • I just don't do anything.

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  • Sorry but being fat isn't something to be proud of, it's extremely unhealthy and disgusting.

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    • I agree, except that being obese is what's unhealthy. Yes, having extra body fat & poor dieting habits often leads to obesity. Among other health issues, but I actually have changed my poor habits regarding personal health long ago. So no one has a right to dictate how my body should look.

  • I really don't care.. I do have rude comments to say about the way people look but I keep those comments to myself.. I don't want to hurt their feelings and make them more insecure.

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