Are my looks getting in the way of relationships?

This is going to sound stupid but:

Apparently people think that I'm really good-looking (don't see it myself, but whatever) and it's kinda making me uncomfortable. I have no idea how to react when a guy tells me that I'm "beautiful" (has happened a couple times, just said "Uh. Thanks?") and I'm sort of scared that other people view me the wrong way. I'm shy and I've heard from a couple people that they thought that I was just stuck-up, because I thought that I was better because of my looks or something. Please remember that all of this sounds completely insane to me! Really!

Recently one of my friends invited me to a party, but warned me not to take her crush away. And that he "wasn't my type" anyway. (According to her my type is "better looking and less dorky" or something like that.) I was very surprised that she could even THINK that I would do that to her! I mean, I've never had a boyfriend! Never even been kissed! I'm SO not that kind of person!

I don't know. Maybe I'm putting way too much thought into this. And I probably seem like some spoiled brat. But really, I'm not. I just need some kind of advice. How do I deal with all of this?

Thanks for reading!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's cool that you just see yourself as a normal human being and don't put all that much emphasis on looks. I really do think our world is "beauty"-oriented, in that so many people seem to judge a person by what they look like. I know what it's like (even though I'm a guy), because I have friends who are jealous of me and insecure about themselves because they don't see themselves as being as good-looking as me. It can really cause a lot of trouble in relationships! Recently, I just ditched a "friend" of mine who was always jealous of me and started getting really nasty with me because of his jealousy. I have decided in the future, that, I'm going to try to find friends who see past my looks and who are not insecure or jealous of me and who like me for who I am, not what I look like. Personally, if I were you, I would try to find people to hang out with, too, that are not jealous or insecure, because if not, you could really get hurt! At any rate, I wish you luck. Just keep being yourself and don't worry about what other people think about you! :)


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What Guys Said 4

  • Well first things first, if someone says that your beautiful, just take it as a compliment because you probably are! :) Most people that use that word to describe you probably do mean it because any guy that just wanted some ass would probably just be a dirtbag about it and say "Hey babe, your f***ing hot" or something lame like that. So just smile and say thank you!

    As for being called stuck-up, it's probably a combination of your good looks and shyness. It's very easy to come off as being stuck-up if you're shy cause you just don't say too much and people assume that you just think you're too good for them. Don't take it personally. If they get to know the real you, I'm sure they'd change there minds!

    And as for your friend, well, she's probably a little intimidated and jealous of your looks! She knows guys see you as a beautiful girl and she feels a bit threatened by that! I think she knows that you wouldn't do that to her but there's still a chance that her crush might like you better.

    All in all, you sound like a great person! You shouldn't worry about what other people say or do. Just take the compliments, brush of the stuck-up comments and flirt a little with the guys! It's okay that you've never been kissed, didn't happen to me til I was about 17! It'll come! :)

  • Well most people don't think that they are good looking, but others notice and when they do, other girls get very jealous, also get used to guys saying you are beautiful as this is their lame pick up line, you'll get used to it. About being stuck up, well this is what people call you when they are jealous, just do what you are doing, say "Thanks" to the guys and tell your friend exactly what you wrote here "How could she even think you would do that"

    If you are finding this hard to deal with, then don't mention it to your friends as they will think you love yourself, just stay the way you are shy and nice. The best way to show you aren't stuck up is to say "hi how are you" and smile to people, the less you smile the more stuck up they think you are. I never smile and those who don't know me think I'm arrogant, but they realise when they take the time to get to know me that I'm not and I'm just not the smiling type

  • If people say your beautiful its probably because you are physically attractive, with guys telling you that though you have to be careful and realize which ones are coming off in a nice polite way or if they are just trying to hook up with you. As far as your opinion of if you think you are beautiful or not you need to always believe in yourself in life it only matters in the end about what you think of yourself and no one else.

  • well your probably intimidating if you are very attractive. Just go up to a guy you like and ask him if he'd like to spend time with you some time. Don't be exclusive, just see how things go.


What Girls Said 1

  • Ahh this is a common problem all attractive people experience :) you're one of the lucky ones.

    There is nothing you can do about your looks. People will judge you no matter what. Trust me.

    The only thing you can do is adjust your attitude towards it. Not "change" who you are. Just change your mental state, in regards to all this chaos. If you are always worrying about what other people are thinking of you, then it will show, and you might end up portraying it, without even noticing.

    When someone compliments you, say thank you and smile :) don't act freaked out or weird about it. If you feel like a lot of girls at a party don't like you, then go up to one of them and compliment them on something. Tell them how nice their hair looks, and ask about it. If you show people you are interested in them, they will forget about YOU're looks, and think 'wow, she's really cool'. Not all women will be all friendly and open up tho. Be ready for dirty looks and snotty responses. Its ok, don't waste your time on them.

    As for guys who compliment you, feel flattered, but don't let it get to you. Be yourself. Listen to them when they are talking to you, and respond to their questions.

    Just remember to always SMILE, and LAUGH. It will loosen you up, and make the other people comfortable around you. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MIGHT BE THINKING. Just be yourself.

    As for jealous friends. what you can do is, stay away from her crush. Don't be all friendly around him. If he talks to you, keep it short, and then say you have to go. somewhere. Or you can just be mean to them. Act snobby or whatever. Your friend will appreciate it. And if she makes any comments again about "dont steal my crush. " etc, don't let it get to you. Just take it as a compliment. You can't do anything about insecure people.

    Oh and, you ARE putting too much thought into this :)

    Just relax and enjoy your BEAUTY. As long as it doesn't get to you, then everything will be ok. And also, don't waste your time on people who judge you too much, or make you feel like crap. They arnt worth it.

    P.S. Someday you might get comments from people saying "I bet you think every guy in this room likes you." or "I bet you think you're so hot", just say "I really dont. " and walk away, or just ignore em. Don't let anybody control your feelings, k?