Is my boyfriend losing interest?


I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year and a half. We've been very happy and have a lot in common, I was really good friends with him and his friends for quite a few years before we started seeing each other, so it's a very convenient and fun relationship.

I spend every weekend with him, most of which is spent cuddling in bed if we don't go out. He treats me well and is always interested in what's going on in my life, he holds my hand, he kisses me, he's affectionate for the most part, he's attentive and includes me in his family life.

What's bothering me though, is that he's not that interested in sex anymore. I left it for a bit but I got very uncomfortable when it became too often that I would slide my hand down there and he'd just inconspicuously move or roll over, pretending that he didn't notice. It made me feel very insecure and I started making up all kinds of scenario's in my head. Is he cheating? Is he not sexually attracted to me? Has he fallen out of love? He was also acting a bit distant, not calling or texting that often anymore etc.

I asked him about it once and told him I felt insecure and that I wasn't happy most of the time because of the nonsense that went through my head. He told me not to worry, that he loved me and that he did't know why he had lost his drive. He old me "soon, don't worry."

So I left it some more but got more and more worried. I didn't make any of these feelings known to him until I just couldn't help it. I spoke to him one morning about it, he got very upset and I had to really pour my heart out for him to see how much it was affecting me. He told me he genuinely did not know why he wasn't interested in sex anymore, and that I shouldn't worry, because he still thinks I'm magnificent, he still loves me very much and there is nothing out of the ordinary going on. Then he mentioned that he's scared he's going to marry me. I didn't really understand that part and trying to be the good girlfriend, I told him that I don't see myself getting married at all in the next 5 years. (He's 23, I'm 25). Which lead me back to believing there was something wrong.

Is he having commitment issues that he thinks will just disappear? Does he not see a future with me but is putting off the hurt if we break up? I know he relies on me and that we are very dependent on each other, so maybe he wants out but is scared of the pain that goes with it?

Please help, I think I'm going mad!


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What Guys Said 1

  • this one's tough. he sounds sensitive. while reading I swear the only thing that popped up in my head was SD (sexual dysfunction). then you said he was 23. I know SD is rare in most young people but it is not uncommon and its a very VERY touchy topic for guys...if he isn't doing anything on the side..thats most likely it. if YOU wanna find something VERY seductive...lingerie, a porn movie, lapdance, something and if he still tries to pull away...its most likely SD. He'll tell you when he's ready.


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