How to feel more female when you grew up a tomboy?

Ok so basically i was raised as quite a tomboy and aside from the dresses and barbies phase (that only lasted about a year when i was 6 or so), iv always been a tomboy. I had mostly guy friends and was always 'one of the guys'. I always dressed in boys clothes and never had much interest in fashion. It didn't help that my mother left when i was 16 either.

So now i am 23 and i have just learned how to work makeup but i still can't work out the hair thing or get comfortable in nice feminine clothes. I do a lot of martial arts too so i am quite muscular and i feel like i look really manly.

I have noticed recently that i just dont feel like i have a female identity. Its not that i dont like nice clothes and i really do want to look and feel girly but i just cant? I never feel like one of the girls and i know its all in my head but i really want to feel like i am a girl. Especially when it comes to boys, i feel like im too masculine for boys to like me (iv never even dated yet!).

What should i do? Any advice would be so great!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not sure that's a question for guys, but here's my stance on it. Regardless of what you do, you probably won't look manly to a guy. There are guys that are super lean and women that are super jacked. Take control of who you are and use it as a shield, that way it can never be used against you. If you've never tried hinting that you're interested in a guy, you should try it. I'm sure most dudes will reciprocate positively. I would strongly prefer a girl that's athletic. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. :)

    • Thanks for the response, i never really looked at it that way, i guess iv just been gauging myself off other girls a lot. I have tried hinting at the guy i like (i think, its hard with guys because im pretty shy and i dont know how much they actually pick up on :P) That being said, he has been increasingly friendly, but i thought we were just getting to be better friends...

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What Guys Said 3

  • sound like a dream girl to me haha i like muscles on a girl but back to your question try anything girly watch youtube videos help you with makeup a go shoping for stuff :) muscles in a sexy red dress is hot lol

    • Haha thanks I think :p I always thought guys found muscly girls offputting, but then I guess its down to taste! YouTube is a good tip actually, I'll have to try that :)

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    • thanks! good advise, iv looked on youtube and it actually is pretty good :)

    • no problem anytime :)

  • Just expect the person you are , and stop trying to be someone ur not. Have confidence in ur appearance. Have u tried all feminine clothing. What do u do in terms of boys?

    • Thanks for the response! I am trying to work on the confidence but its hard going, i haven't tried much feminine clothing to be honest but i am trying to wear it more these days. In terms of boys, i dodnt do great because im to shy to show guys i like them and i dont feel like anyone would ever like someone like me anyway

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    • So I kind understand what ur going through.

    • I also have no confidence In my appearance (I am concidering posting a pic)

  • Accept yourself as you are


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