Is it wrong to want a manlier guy and reject this "nice" guy?

So firstly I have yet to meet this guy in person (we first chatted about a class we have together.) And yet I can't help but feel he likes me already (way too fast for me). I could be wrong, but either way my actual problem is i'm not at all attracted to him, he's a good looking guy, but he's too girly for me. I am not even that girly, I was always sorta into manlier things like cars, sports, hiking, etc. The more I find out about him, the more turned off I am. I'm not saying I want a wrestler or a really macho guy, but I want to feel like a girl when I'm with a guy, and not like I am manlier than him or that I have to take on ALL the dominating qualities. he's a really nice guy, but I always see backlash given to girls because they dont "give the nice guy a chance". Now i'm starting to think the rejection is justified for some of them.

  • Yes, its wrong because...
    Vote A
  • No, you can be attracted to whoever you like
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your poll is backing me into a corner here.

    No, it's not wrong at all. Women are wired to desire guys who can lead/protect, just as men are wired to desire girls who will support/follow him. It's simple biology.

    So no, it's not wrong for you to not like this guy because he doesn't fit that kind of criteria. By all means, set him as a friend.

    But I'm not gonna say you should just go wherever your attraction leads you. I mean, that's partly why Hitler got so powerful. Many a German woman immediately ripped their clothes off and blindly followed his words like they were written in stone.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Ugh no lol, I was explaining to another that Im not looking for a lucha libre, just whatever is "normal". Its even weird saying that because you can't really judge what is normal. But whatever it is, I think this guy is just below whats normal, and its too sensitive/girly for me

    • I understand that, and it's perfectly fine. I'm just making sure you're not one of those "the heart wants what it wants" types.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you give him a chance? Or did you decide that he's too much of a pretty boy and spend the date finding reasons to validate that stance? If you don't feel anything for him that's okay, you can't force emotions. But it's pretty unrealistic to turn someone down because they don't fit this fantasy you've played out in your head. If you haven't heard him out and tried to find any compatibility then I suggest you try it. He might just surprise you.

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What Guys Said 29

  • A "manlier" guy can also be a nice guy. You just don't want a man who is too nice and sensitive that he is also a pushover. At the same time, you don't want a guy who isn't nice because then you're going to get a jerk who will just use you for sex, cheat on you, possibly beat you, etc.

    The "normal" definition for both men and women has changed drastically since decades ago when we were all expected to conform to society's expectations of us. Thanks to movements like feminism encouraging men to be the opposite of masculine, you'll find that many younger men these days aren't exactly the stereotypical definition of manly or "normal." Plenty of women as well, for example, aren't even shaving their armpits or leg hairs when that used to be normal behavior of them. If you want a masculine male, I hope you're at least a feminine female. You like to wear dresses, etc.

    What normal used to be for men was a guy who wouldn't express his feelings or emotions to you out of fear he'd be emasculated for it. Do you really want a guy who isn't open with you? It's unhealthy for a guy to not be allowed to express himself, especially to the woman he should be able to trust, and I think that's partly why there are so many violent men and the suicide rates are so high for us. I think there are certain things society should encourage in men that are not exactly the norm. It's not unmanly for a guy to cry, it's just unmanly for him to wear your skirts and most guys aren't going to do that anyway.

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  • No, but with the footnote that you tell him why. Most non-aggressive guys will have no idea what's wrong with them and won't ask. If you tell, at least they'll know for future's sake.

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  • honestly. I've always felt like manlier men are to tough for girls. I'm not exactly girly, but I spend time looking good and enjoy shopping too. I love to work out and I'm a techie. But I would go someone in it middle. maybe slightly girly. usually guys who are like that and straight are nicer and treat the said girl a little better. that's what I believe. I've always thought girls are into metro men.

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    • No thats fine, like i said anything normal is good, I dont want a macho but I dont want too girly.

    • Show All
    • there's nothing wrong with shopping I love shopping and just looking at clothes in general, and hygiene and self care is good ofc!

    • I do agree on that.

  • Of course. Go for what you like. This is way more common than you think.
    This new crop of boys raised under the FI are a weak bunch of cry babies. Most of the girls are bored to tears with them. They're wishy-washy, can't lead, can't make a decision, are awful in bed, and cry a lot.
    :)

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  • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-shrug(d).gif

    Ah well... Nice guys finish last once again.

    www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-zoom(a).gif

    Gender roles for the win!

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What Girls Said 6

  • You're not obligated to be attracted to anyone. If he's not your type, he's not your type. That's okay. Just be aware that "nice" and "manly" are in no way mutually exclusive.

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  • It's never wrong to not be attracted to or not want to date someone, for any reason. That's not something you have control over. There are tons of nice people in the world, doesn't mean you're going to be into all of them.

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  • It's not wrong. I love manly, commanding, controlling douchebags but on the other hand, nice shy guys are always fun to be with.

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  • you don't need to justify your choices to the society lol.. you do you

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  • It's your own personal preference and if that's what you like then that's what you go for

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