I like nice clothes and looking good, but the attention that comes with it makes me nervous?

I enjoy exercising, playing sports, being healthy, and finally having a figure that I'm happy with. But when I started gaining the confidence to wear nice clothes again, I quickly remembered why I started to wear oversized men's clothing from Goodwill in the first place; because I don't have men (especially much older men/men that make me uncomfortable) watching me like a hawk.
But it's like a double-edged sword. The "ugly" clothes I feel comfortable in and get a lot less if no attention, but I look in the mirror or at pictures and I look horrible. What makes it worse is that I work hard to be in good shape, and have so many cute clothes that I look great in/badly want to wear. But I could wear something as simple as a turtleneck sweater and a skirt with flats or a maxi dress, and feel eyes burning into my skin! I leave the house feeling like a model and come home feeling gross. And then I revert back to mud-stained work jeans and a hoodie 3 sizes too big (and feeling not so good/presentable). Once I was even in the grocery store after an Easter event with my brother, wearing a peach dress and flats (not even provocative, we went to church). And at some point my brother said that this old man was looking at me in a way that he didn't like. I know that it's something's that women just go through, but I don't know how to handle it--but at the same time I want to look nice, for myself!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's called life and you have to make a decision between the 2. Is it really so bad that guys stare at you? It doesn't seem to bother people in other careers or outfits that get stares. Muslim women get lots of stares because of their weird hijab, but it doesn't bother them.

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    • Yeah, but sometimes it just gets overboard; boob-staring (and I have like, no boobs! They're mosquito bites!), lip-licking; it's disgusting. Like once I was on a train and I had on dark flowy 70's pants and a tank top and a man older than my dad was doing all of that. I wanted to throw up (or throw fists)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry about external things. Then a blind eye to it

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What Guys Said 2

  • nice question. if you think too much of it it'll drive you crazy. all you have to do is try find a balance. never try to be perfect cause one will never be. I know many would say don't listen to what others say, but in reality it matters what others say. you seem intelligent from what you posted so just keep doing what you doing and don't overthink that's all :)

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  • It is a shame, my ex's daughter had this same problem when she was 14. Very conscious of looking good but too shy and didn't know what to do with the attention. it made her very self conscious. But she was beautiful and such a happy little ray of sunshine. You will get the attention if you look good. You will have to deal with it unfortunately... you will have to get comfortable with rejecting advances. Stay safe, don't dress slutty and guys try not to be creepy. Hot girls are people too... they all someone's draughter

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