I need guys' advice!!!!!! He won't even look at me.

had an affair with him for fer four years, we were best friends! then it all ended more than a year ago. due to mutual stuff we have to see each other every few months, all I want is to be friends, but he won't look me in the face, and when I ask him a question just in casual conversation he will look at the person next to me and answer as if they asked him the question. if I sit near him he won't stay seated he will stand up in the capt Morgan stance. what did I do and can I do ? I just want my friend back


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say that he has something going on that he is having a hard time dealing with. It maybe that he has a girlfriend. If he's only popping up every so often then his time is clear being spent with someone else. So if you want things to be friendly between the two of you do things that friends do. (i.e. no sex). Sex only confuses things for the both of you and most likely more for you then him. Especially if he's with another women. So the next time he calls and wants to get together tell no or at least make sure things don't get physical. That should give you the answer your looking for if he is really your friend you not wanting to be physical shouldn't be a problem. If it does cause a problem have him tell you specifically what he wants from you and this situation. I hope this helps.


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What Guys Said 3

  • He must have some kind of inner conflict going on. Maybe the only way he can keep from looking at you sexually is not to look at all. Or maybe he's hurt or angry. Try telling him how you feel, maybe by e-mail if he has a hard time with face-to-face.

    • Maybe guilt? I agreed to have sex with him again, and he stopped callin or texting, he pops up every couple months and will chat for a couple weeks and then disappears again. so even though when he is in contact he says he wants to be together again, when I agree he stops contact. he has no email and now his phone is off , but all I want is for it to be friendly when we have to be around eachother

    • I'm going through something simular. I do think men have to work things out. It takes them longer on some things. I think the best advise would be just move on. Let him make the next move. Just be you. You can't make someone be friends with you. Step back, take a deep breath relax and let him come to you.

  • It could be a world of things depending on how it ended. He probably hates you or some reason. Maybe he just hates the fact that you moved on? It could even be that he's afraid to fall or you again, who knows.

    There's so much that matters here like how you broke up, how he felt/feels about it, what you/him have been up to the past year. Maybe he just doesn't see trying to be your friend is worth it.

  • It is something he did. It is internal, and he is having a hard time facing it whatever "it" may be. It could also be his way of creating distance to avoid any kind of positive feeling be it sexual or innocent. I must agree with dave_b_quick on this one.

    Good luck, shoot him an email outlining the issue and get his response. Id say if he cannot give you a straight answer move on.


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