I hate myself? How to change?

(I wrote this as a mytake but I realized that it would be better as a question) I'm 14 years old, and struggle with my appearance. I've always hated my body, it's always been too slim, not womanly. While all my friends are voluptuous I'm barely an a cup (my boobs seem bigger than a cups but a cup bras never fit properly) and I have small hips and a flat butt. My legs are too slim, my waist too small and my body goes straight down, not one curve, not one small feature that stands out. Boring. Ugly. Horrible. Before you say no that cannot be true, I've heard it from others. Though some middle-aged women have pointed out my "excellent physique", they're not the audience I'd like to get approval from. Others, younger have pointed out my flat butt, praying mantis like body and the mosquito bites on my chest. I feel self conscious in a bikini, I have to mentally prepare myself when going shopping for clothes and I refuse to go bra shopping, downright refuse (I wear bralettes)

Well ok my body is atrocious, but my face must be pretty? Right? Right? No. First comes my hair, It's curly and brown, in quite tight coils falling down my back. But it isn't what I want. How I dream of sleeky smooth hair, falling like a waterfall, but my hair doesn't resemble that. How I want tan skin while mine is pale, how I want thin eyebrows while mine are full and how I want blue green almond eyes while mine are hazel and big and round, like a fish. How I want soft face features while mine are sharp, like a knife cutting and destroying my happiness. How I want big full lips, while mine are full but accompanied by a small mouth. How I want this and that, but I have none of it. And my life will be accompanied by misery, until, hopefully, I can become what I am not. How do I change myself? How do I start my journey of looking different?

English is my 3rd language so sorry for mistakes :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I would say you shouldn't look to others for approval.
    But I would also say that you will change as you grow, you are only 14, you will change in the next couple of years.
    Also, I would say you sound pretty, I know there is somebody who will like the way you look and others who might be jealous


Most Helpful Girl

  • Everything out stated can be changed. If you don't like your body start working out, if you don't have money to pay for gym search for workouts on YouTube and there you go. Cut your hair, change the color, go in the internet and search for inspiration (not someone to copy) and from that star building yourself. Your self esteem, your capacity to acknowledge the bad and embrace the good. Take the words "I hate myself" "I can't" from your dictionary. We all have flaws and insecurities you just can't let them control your life baby

    • i can't make my boobs bigger though? I've been working outlay legs and butt but you can't grow boobs... also Im not allowed to straighten my hair

    • https://i.redd.it/pgf8kc48f8xy.jpg

      my hair is this ^^

      do u think i can somehow make it straighter with a certain hairstyle?

    • That's why I said acknowledge the bad and embrace the good you can't grow boobs but you can grow a butt and your legs giving you more shape. Damn girl you better not do anything stupid to your hair, your curls are so beautiful how can't you see it? Just beautiful!

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What Guys Said 2

  • You basically described the a woman I had a huge crush on 2 years ago (Didn't work out in the end but I sure hoped it did).
    I love super slim girls. I love big eyes. I don't like pale eyes. I like small butts and small boobs. I hate tanned women.

    Don't worry. You'll find someone who likes those kind of attributes.

  • Nobody is better at being you than you can


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