How To Be Less Insecure About My Looks?

Hey guys! Throwing this question out there... how do you be more secure about your looks? I don't consider myself ugly per say, but I never seem to be the girl guys want. I get called "cute" but never hot or sexy. I'd kill to look like other girls, especially my hot friends, or the girls guys find attractive.

It really grates on me, so I'm looking for ways to deal with how I look. Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Being called cute isn't such a bad thing. It's not so much a distinct classification as it is a different 'shade' or 'hue' of female beauty. The terms 'hot', 'cute' and 'sexy' aren't mutually exclusive: sexy girls are cute and cute girls are sexy. I would say the key difference is the emotional responses such girls evoke.

    A sexy or hot girl is a girl whose looks exude sexuality and make me feel excited and turned on. A cute girl is a girl who's looks tug on the heart strings and make me feel a deep sense of longing and warmth inside. In my experience the emotional impact of a hot girl is more initially intense and attention grabbing while the emotions I feel in the presence of a cute girl are more subtle but they feel deeper in some way. I notice a sexy girl almost immediately but it takes time for me to 'warm up' to a cute girl. There were a couple of girls in my classes in high school that did that to me. I probably passed over them initially but they grew on me until I became fixated upon them.

    They're different flavors, different sides of the same coin. But no matter the variation, feminine beauty is feminine beauty and cute girls have it too. I guess you could compare it to looking at the same scene through a different lens. If I can focus I can see them from a different angle. If I concentrate on a girl I can see a cute, young girl and I can bask in the waves of her feminine energy or I can see the sexy, horny girl and I want to run my hands over every inch of her body. But without trying, I tend to attend to one or the other depending on her appearance, I guess.

    I like your profile picture and I can see why guys call you cute and let me assure it's no insult. I've always been a "face guy". I'm a sucker for a pretty face and I know when I see one and you have one. I like the shape of your eyes and that cute smirk on your face. Cuteness isn't just in your looks, it's in your expression. Everything from the peace sign you're making to your facial expression to the way your wearing your hair says cute to me. But if you were to let your hair down and strike a more suggestive pose...

    Take a look in the mirror and see if you can see what I'm talking about. I used to think I was totally ugly too but if I look in the mirror and clear all my preconceptions I have of myself out of my head for a bit, I see some characteristics that are handsome. I suggest you try that, take 5 minutes and look at yourself and try to see the positives. Also, everybody needs (or at least appreciates) external validation. When a girl on here says I'm hot or cute, it feels good. You're quite pretty and I imagine myself dating you (and enjoying it!).

    So cheer up, girl! You're attractive!


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What Guys Said 3

  • hey! Here's the matter who you are, there are people more attractive or sexy than, honestly, the first thing to do would be to stop comparing yourself to others. Nothing good will come of that.

    Secondly, you've got to realize that guys find all sorts of things attractive and sexy about girls. I've been totally "sexified" by a girls personality and sense of humor before. A girl can be totally sexy to me who, maybe if I saw her walking down the street sometime I wouldn't really think was sexy just by her looks. So, I know it might sound lame to hear, but it's true - a girl with a great sense of humor, a playful and down to earth personality - (and maybe who knows what she's doin in the bedroom) - can totally be sexy, regardless of looks.

    In terms of looks though, I mean, sometimes there are things you can work on - things you can change - and other things you just can't change. learn to embrace the things you can't change, and work on the things you can. It's not easy to work out or go to the gym all the time, it's hard - it takes a lot of commitment - but I think it's worth it. Not just because it will make you look sexy, but because it's healthy, it will make you live longer, and it produced enforphins or whatever .. you know...the brain chemical stuff that makes you happy!

    and, lastly, if you send or post a picture of yourself, 10 bucks says I can tell you something about you that is ABSOLUTELY "hot" and "sexy"...hah, what can I say, I love girls!

  • We all have insecurities about our looks, so a good way to see it is that every person you know is in one way or another insecure about his/her looks, that makes you stronger, because you know you're not the only one, that should make you more secure!

    • Haha except I look at hot people with insecurities and go," What the hell is wrong with you, you're gorgeous, leave the insecurity for those of us who earned it!!"

    • Well, but only very few people really think they're hot....pick all the people you consider hot and 90% of those people are insecure and don't think they are hot!! trust me!

  • Cute is way better. Don't change.


What Girls Said 2

  • Unfortunately "cute" doesn't get anyone very far.Guys don't go for "cute" they go for "hot" or "sexy"

    Sometimes when I'm having one of those bad days,I stare at myself in the mirror and I become attractive to myself.Weird...but it works somehow.If I stare at myself in the mirror for longer than 1 minute I can find at least one thing I truly like.

    Improve what you can,and accept what you can't.

    • Thats not entirely true. I would rather have a cute girlfriend than a hot one. cute girls are more down to earth. I feel more comfortable around cute girls

    • Yea I can't remember the last time I heard a guy say "damn,she's cute,I wanna talk to her" or anything along those lines:-)

    • I'm gonna go with "markklatte"...i would rather have a cute girlfriend than hot or sexy....nthn wrong with cute

  • People give me a lot of compliments on my looks, so I'd say I'm pretty, but I still get jealous of my average-looking best friend who is so witty, and confident, and exciting. I always see guys attracted to her charming, funny personality. While, I'm the one, who looks around like I'm too good for everything, and every one.

    This is anonymous that's why I'm being so damn honest.

    So, I'd say stop beating yourself up, if looks are that important to you, invest in good make up, a good haircut, and some flattering clothes. Otherwise, Just be yourself, more outgoing, and open, less insecure, and negative.

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