Can't tell anymore when/if a girl would be interested in me...I'm horrible at body language and flirting...

OK so I have extremely low confidence and self-esteem - maybe because I've never had a girlfriend - I guess I'm also depressed etc and am extremely shy...

I find most girls appear to be afraid of me - deliberately avoid eye contact, don't try and talk to me, don't smile etc. Its like once I come into the picture they all of a sudden become quiet or scared or something...

Sometimes ill catch a woman looking at me but they'll either give me one of those stupid fake smiles - almost like they feel sorry for me or something. Or they'll blankly stare at me then look away - expressionless.

The last girl I asked out rejected me, by saying she supposedly had a boyfriend yet never mentioned one in 5 months of talking to one another. Every time we spoke she would smile the whole time, make and maintain eye contact, laugh, dilated pupils, fiddle with jewelery and hair etc. And I thought for sure this would work and I still get rejected - so obviously this killed any confidence I had building and am not really sure how to properly read people anymore...


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like the last girl you asked out could possibly just be a flirt and not realize it. Some girls are just naturally flirty with guys or she might have been practicing her flirting skills with you but didn't mean for you to pick up on it.

    The rejection is going to come. It doesn't mean you should stop trying! Girls like men who are confident and happy withthe life their given. You need to sit down and figure out who you are and embrace it! Who you are is unique to the world! No one else is like you! Be proud of it! That will give you the confidence you need to go pick up girls. Learn how to talk to them, flirt with them and get them to fall for you. Make them laugh, be courteous, have intelligent conversations with them! Do things you like to do but in public areas. Girls will come and ask to join. Things like that will help you find girls more like you so you can relate better and have an easier time getting to know them because you already know one thing to talk about! So some key points:


    *Find yourself and embrace it!

    *Be confident!

    Then you'll be fine and you'll find the girl for you! :)


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you might be reading into it wrong, a smile they give you might not be fake, and a so called blank stare might not necessarily mean disinterest they just might be shy, also try buying a book on body language or read about it on the internet


What Guys Said 2

  • When I was feeling rejected I'd find a girl who was willing to listen to my tale of woe. Often I'd wind up going out withthem. Sure it was partly because they felt sorry for me, but hey...

  • Just keep trying, it sucks really bad but that's the way it is. Don't wait so long either - I know it doesn't seem right but the longer you wait the lower your chances are. Girls will think you're just a friend and once you're in friend status you might as well be a corpse to them. I have never gotten a date or even the time of day from girls I "waited" for. If you like a girl, are talking in class or at work, online, over the phone asking her out after a couple weeks is about the longest I would wait. I would ask her to do something social, maybe with her and her friends plus a few of yours. Bowling is a good one, there was a bowling alley near my college so that's what I would do. If she's still positive after that, try something with just the two of you - a late night movie is another good one, not too hard on the bank account and you will both be out together. After that it's up to you, however if you aren't making out, fooling around, doing physical things after maybe a month of this sort of thing (doesn't want to hold hands, kiss etc) then I would scale it back - tell her that you like her but put it on the back burner. Don't spend money or time on her other than an odd email or a call to keep in touch, because she obviously doesn't like you and any additional effort will be for naught.

    As far as this girl you're talking about goes, it sounds to me like you're in friend status but you might not be - she could be in a similar situation to you for all you know. So keep in touch with her and occasionally offer to hang out with her, but don't do anything stupid like buy gifts for her or take her places on your dime.