I always attract the wrong kind of men!

All through high school it seems as though the only guys who are interested in me are only interested in my looks, they don't want a serious relationship or anything, but I do. How is it that I'm only attracting this kind of guys? I don't dress super 'slutty' or wear a lot of makeup or anything like that, I guess I just want to know why other guys are never interested in me as well? Or what I can do to make myself more open to different kinds of guys.


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What Guys Said 1

  • But that's how adolescent guys are. They're just finishing puberty, all the equipment is up and running and the hormones are surging. The instincts that millions of years of evolution etched in their brains are compelling them to "spread their seed" to the most fertile and healthy (read: beautiful) girls they can find.

    That's true for all men, not just a "type" of men. That doesn't mean that men have no interest in romantic relationships but we all have to accept that, because of differing biology, the opposite sex's interests and needs differ from ours and we're not always going to like that. Men (and women) aren't ruled by our instincts, there are different types of us with different tastes, interests and dispositions but our biological instincts are a large force in our lives.

    It isn't true that women feel love and men feel only lust. We both have those emotions (though in different amounts and frequencies). What's different is the things that trigger them. If I'm not mistaken, from your perspective it seems that you're after that warm, fuzzy feeling of love while all the guys who approach you are interested in that hot, ravenous feeling of lust which discourages you, am I right? Well, if that's the case, you have to understand that men's brains are wired differently and that male and female brains can develop different feelings in response to the same stimulus.

    While it's true that there are many guys out there that are just looking for some action without getting serious, a man can get those warm fuzzy feelings you get from getting to know a guy just by looking at you. Those feelings come from a primitive part of our brains, subconsciously telling us that "this person would make a good mate".

    In your case it comes from your brain saying "this guy is trustworthy and understanding and I think I can count on him to stick around and be there for me while I bear his children. Activate the warm fuzzy feelings!". For a man, his brain says "this girl has a nice body, she seems healthy and fertile and I think she will bear me healthy and strong children. Release the warm fuzzy feelings!".

    My point is that there aren't two types of men - one that wants you for your body and another that wants you for your personality - there is only one and you can't hold the fact that they are physically attracted to you against them. I'm not saying you should let your guard down either. Not all guys are to be trusted. If a guy just isn't looking for the same thing you are (a relationship) then chances are things aren't going to work out between you two. However, the "type" of guy you are looking for is still going to be obviously attracted to you physically (which is not an inherently bad thing) and you should keep that in mind


What Girls Said 1

  • I've learned to always have the guy get to know me first and how I really am before showing any interest of the sort. I used to have similar problems (and still do with guys who don't know me) but once they actually get to know me (while in the friend zone) they know how I'm really like and know what I'm looking for. I know it sucks, but sometimes when a guy (certain guys) look at you, they sometimes think if they can get away with just the physical. Try being friends first with them. As for trying to get to know different guys, just be more social with various types. I've come across many guys who I wouldn't consider 'my type' at first, but have proved to be great potential boyfriends. Guys go for more than just looks when wanting a serious relationship, so if you show them your other positive points they'll get interested.

    Hope this helps. Best of luck!