Being involved with a girl that nobody else finds attractive. Having a little moral dilemma?

There's this girl around campus who isn't exactly what most people would consider attractive. She's a little overweight (not too bad) and her features aren't exactly striking. However, I personally think she's kinda cute. I really don't know why but there's something about her that I kinda like. On top of that, she's got a kinda geeky personality, like myself, which is perfect. We've chatted a few times and we seem to get along, so I think if I asked her out she'd probably say yes.

Here's where I run into a problem: I do not have the self-confidence to endure the inevitable teasing accompanied with being involved with a girl that nobody else finds attractive. I'm prone to depression and I don't deal with it well, so I'm afraid of what a situation like this would do to my already fragile emotional state. Everyday I put on my "I'm OK" mask and plow through, but I don't think I'll be able to keep up that image in such a situation.

At the same time, I feel like a terrible person for letting everyone else's opinion dictate who I date, but I can't help it. I'm not emotionally strong enough to deal with to be looked down on that way, especially since (not to sound like an asshole) I'm pretty sure I'm just a little out of her league in terms of looks. I've just never had the self confidence to ask out the more traditionally attractive girls.

I'd appreciate any advice/comments on the subject. I'm a little torn on what to do here...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you need to work on yourself before you can consider dating her. Why not start reading about how to build self-esteem or see a therapist for a few sessions to discuss this subject. Investing in your self-esteem will help you in so many areas of your life and for the rest of your life.


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What Girls Said 3

  • You might find that there's less to be depressed about once you stop caring so much about what other people think.

    You have the potential to date a girl that you might really like and who could really enrich your life. You can either continue caring about what other people think and either be alone or date girls that you don't really like (but they meet other people's standards), or you can say f*** them and date who you want and be happy.

  • you're better off admitting who you like now and not dealing with your shallow choices later in life, you'll be a better person for it.

    "Everyday I put on my "I'm OK" mask and plow through" - wonder how often your non-attractive friend does this to get through the day, you're stronger when there are two of you.

    be the shepherd, not the flock.

  • I find that whatever you do, people will always find a way to mock you and one day you‘ll have to deal with that. Now if you truly like this girl than maybe you could survive however I don’t think you should date her, because if your worry about what other people think, your only going to hurt this girl in the end, sorry.


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