He wasn't interested when I had blue hair, does he deserve me now that I'm blond?

I was 18, had blue hair, and a face full of piercings. From the first day I saw my new "preppy" co-worker, I wanted a chance to show him what I was all about. We flirted constantly, so when I mustered up enough courage to ask him out via a mutual friend (Yes, at the time that in itself took courage), I was shocked for him to say No. The friend reported back with "He said it's just not 'his style.'

Fast forward 5 years. College happened, life happened, and I changed physically. I went from having blue spikes to having blond curls. I went from having a face full of metal to... not. I remained the same person I'd always been though (and I still love the same music, just can't maintain the appearance in a conservative career choice).

Sexy co-worker and I stayed in touch over the years, and fairly recently he expressed interested in dating me. I brought up the past event of him turning me down for a date and he said (exact words) "I don't remember ever saying you 'weren't my style.' I always knew you were a rockin' chick and pretty, but I just don't know if my priss-ass could've handled dating someone like that."

OK, so he knew I was the same person, but couldn't get past a hair color? Maybe I'm more open-minded than most, but this hasn't been sitting right with me. Part of me feels like if he can't accept me at "my worst" (physically, at least in his eyes) then he doesn't deserve me at "my best."

So, what's the deal, dudes and ladies? --- is it simply his own taste in women that I shouldn't judge him for? Or should I ditch him for being shallow?

Thanks in advance!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope don't give him a chance. You have the same personality like you said the only thing that changed was your looks and time. Now he wants to be in the picture? No way.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Maybe it's not so much about you changing, but more of him changing? Just saying, you're probably not the only one to have made changes in your life in that amount of time :P

    5 years is a pretty long time to stay in touch with someone too.

    • He really hasn't changed in his "judgmental ways." As I mentioned, he admitted that he wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who looks that way.

      It makes me feel as if I didn't dramatically change my physical appearance, we wouldn't be together. That's just a bit unsettling, ya know?

  • I think he could given you a chance,he could let let you knw his likes and dislikes,and showed at all he cares and also thought about changes in future and now you are a blonde,probably hot,i think you shoul give him another chance but dnt be carried away by compliments,bear in mind that he is that same guy that said no at first...

  • Yes give him a chance, you have to understand that its a big statement be with a girl who has blue hair. You know this first hand because now that you have blond hair I can almost guarantee you get a different kind of attention from people.

    Maybe he liked you but he just couldn't roll with the fact that you blue hair, now you don't. Give him a shot.


What Girls Said 2

  • You said its been five years, and typically after college is when guys mature. Maybe that's it. Maybe he just needed to grow up a little.

    I say go for it.

    • Thanks for responding!

      He's not a very mature individual, despite being 7 years my senior. Being interested in only casually dating though, the immaturity doesn't bother me much.

      He still stands by never wanting to date anyone "alternative." I mean, we're each attracted to what we're attracted to, but he knew my personality back then and denied me a chance nonetheless. He also frequently mentions his high standards for women and says things like "Don't worry, you passed." Lame and frustrating!

  • Give the guy a chance, if he would of weighed 500 pounds then droped to a sey body... you might of thought the same way...

    you too obviously care/like/love each other. :)