If you got along exceptionally...

with a guy friend of yours (or a girl friend for you guys), yet they was on the bigger side (and much bigger than you) which you would not normally go for, would you try to look past that and move forward even knowing there is hardly an attraction, but so much of a connection? I'm soooo very confused. please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would give it a shot. I would hate to miss out on something because of a weight thing. Not only that but that's something that could be worked on (I am a past overweight person). My now fiance gave me a chance and actually helped me get fit.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Simple answer, no!

    I know this is not the answer you were looking, for, but I think you deserve and honest response.

    Let me explain. A mental connection is definitely a very important part of a relationship, but the other aspects of a relationship cannot simply be denied. I agree that Physical attraction is not the most important or the only thing that people look for. However, it IS one of the many things people look for.

    Why would you want to be with someone that does not find EVERYTHING about you appealing? Also, why would you want to be with someone that you know will be denying some part of his desire?

    If you deny yourself any of your desires then wouldn't you feel unfulfilled for the rest of your life? Why would you want to be with some that you know is not completely fulfilled by you?

    Think about it, if you were in a relationship that wasn't completely fulfilling, wouldn't that make you more likely to be miserable, or worse, cheat?

    What you have just described is someone that could be your best friend, not your boyfriend. Enjoy the relationship for what it is, a strong friendship. If you can't be his friend then you need to let him go. Love can't be forced.

    You just need to keep looking. There are lots of guys out there that like big girls, you just need to find one of them. It will happen, just keep looking. Hold your head up high and find someone that appreciates everything about you, and not just settling for you in any way. Heck, use your new best friend to help you find the right guy for you. If he is that good of a friend, trust me, he wants to see you happy as much as you do.

    Hope this helps.

    • Hey, I hate to burst your bubble here...but I'm not a bbw..i was talking about a man who is on the larger side that I'M confused about..i like him, we have a whole connection, I know I'm being a bit shallow with the question..but I'm looking for anothers opinion. so...HE is on the larger side, much larger than i..i'm small.

    • Thanks for the clarification, but doesn't this still hold true? If you are having an issue with his weight, then you are somehow denying what you really want or expect.

    • I'm not sure does it still hold true? everyone is different and in that aspect, I DO NOT, and never have believed that appearance is love. I believe there is much much more to love than looks. you can see the hottest guy with a girl and see how badly he treats her and realize that looks definitely aren't everything...and most of the time, the girl will stay just because he was hotter than she'd ever had.

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