Should I ask her out or not? If so, how?

I would like to ask a friend out, but she confuses me. We seem to get along fine when we're together, but she never seems receptive to doing anything together when I text her. She's 20, I'm 22. She comes across as a 'bad girl', with multiple tattoos and piercings, and a pretty crazy side. Enjoys accenting her 'good bodily features'. She dresses kinda slutty, but isn't a slut. She doesn't care what other think about the way she acts. I like her personality, as well as her looks.

I can have quite a crazy side of myself too, and enjoy going out. I'm very athletic and fit, in the Army, like dangerous stuff, partying, etc. But whenever she mentions going drinking or planning anything with her friends, she's never asked or hinted at me joining. We used to have more friends in common before they left college. Lately we got back in touch because I asked her to do some portrait modeling for me as I'm an amateur photographer. The session went well.

Ultimately, I don't know how to 'read' her, she's hard to figure out. So, I don't know if I should ask her out if there's no feeling at all in her eyes.

What should I look for? If so, how should I ask her out, esp without making it awkward. I's really like to give 'us' a shot. help?

Thanks to all you guys for the advice so far. Still pondering a course of action.
Since going home for Christmas break for a month, I've graduated and moved to a new area 4 hrs away. Yesterday out of nowhere she texts me and says: 'I miss you". We texted a few more times and haven't since.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't go straight for: "Hey I think your interesting and I want to get to know you" It'll shock her that her friend suddenly likes her, and in turn she'll take a few steps back, which will make you think she doesn't like you in a similar manor.

    Instead - slowly escalate things.. See if you can pinpoint what is "fun" for her AND you.. Maybe what you are texting her invites to, she may not be receiving, or maybe the parties/etc aren't her type of fun ideas...

    Slowly learn things about her and as time progresses, make the distance between you two come together.. Where she was unwilling to hang out before, she will suddenly be dieing to know of when you'll text her next.. etc..

    It'll take a long time to accomplish, and you'll probably see her date a lot of other men; but if you are truly genuine in wanting to give her a shot, it's better to be consistent (and persistent) rather than seeming like a creeper that just wanted to say "he's different" only to get into her pants.

    And the last thing - women like it when you make a move SOONER rather than later. 9/10 women will put a guy in the friendzone if they think: A) He's just playing games and isn't serious about dating... or B) He doesn't make a move and they're unsure of him... If they know you want a relationship, at least they have the option of backing off and you guys can resume the friendship.. just remember to be respectful and sincere in your actions.. That is, know how far you are willing to go before you dive into such a task as winning her heart.

    ~ ArtistBBoy


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What Girls Said 3

  • i don't think she is too intersted. if you wanna tell her, just say something subtle like you look nice today, or comment on an item of clothing or something.

    or say something like, hey sexy, and then b4 she says anything say I'm only joking, if she's intersted it might show in her face that she is disappointed that you don't think that of her. and then you can just say sorry, I was just messing, you look absolutely lovely today.

    • Most guys can't "get away" with joking around.. Makes them seem like needy/desperate/creepy.. I watch it happen all too often.. now if you say "hey sexy" in a sarcastic way - it communicates the same message in a funny way; so she can't tell if your joking or not. BUT this will only attract the girls that play the attraction games.. If you want a genuine girl, you'll need to take the step to risk getting rejected - which is where the compliment comes into play.

  • You could always bring up that you don't know how to read her. If a guy told me that I intrigued him being I was "unreadable" or "mysterious" or whatever, I'd be sort of turned on and become a little interested. The modeling is a good idea, too. Just a thought, but I love that sort of thing, and if she does, too, you can make it a regular thing. If you end up doing it again, you can always try to spice it up. If she's the "dangerous" and "crazy" type, then she might be up for something sexy, which can always have interesting outcomes.

    Do something spontaneous and crazy to get her attention. Or, you can always make a show of chasing her, and then back off abruptly. Make her ask, "why are you ignoring me?" I think it's best to let her know you're interested. I think a girl like that wouldn't hesitate to go for a guy if she knows he's into her.

  • Once you get on her good side through a lot of flirting, you can be more aggressive and ask her "out on a date", but for now, since the relationship is still casual, I'd ask to hang out a little more and flirt somewhat suttle at first and then step it up each time you hang out until the flirting leads to real tension. Then ask her "out' and go from there my dude.


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