How do I not be the funny, fat friend?

So I'm turning 20 in a couple of months and I've never had a first kiss, gone on a date, been asked out etc etc

I know there's plenty of time left for me, but I'm really starting to get lonely. Everyone I know has a 'significant other' and I'm beginning to feel like I'm defective.

I'm starting to feel like the chubby, funny sidekick in the movies who looks on as all their friends 'find love'.

Any words of wisdom to impart? And do guys find funny girls unattractive?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, here are my words of wisdom:

    1. Take action. Taking action is the key to success. Action can be: going out as much as possible, putting yourself in social situations, striking up conversations with both guys and girls you find interesting, getting into your hobbies and passions, etc. Do things that will make you HAPPY. You don't FEEL like taking action when you're depressed, but sometimes you just have to push yourself. Check out for your town or city, and get out there and do stuff. When you get moving in life and consistently get social practice, you have less time to think about your insufficiencies or feel bad about yourself.

    2. Realize that you're not "defective," you're human. So is every other person--that is, each of your "taken" girl-friends and every handsome guy you see. Your DNA is 99.9% the same as any other member of the human species. No one is better than you, and no one is worse.

    (Of course, you have to be willing to see things this way, or else saying this is useless.)

    3. Stop looking at what movies and society say. Movies and pop culture thrive on stereotypes like the "funny, fat friend." That's because Hollywood and the media in general have discovered a simple, yet profound truth--people are mentally lazy. If they're fed enough of the same image, they'll accept it as reality and customize their lives to fit what society thinks is right. The great thing is, we can choose to be smarter than that. (Indulge me a little on this point--I'm a psychology major and a screenwriter.)

    4. Yes--guys are totally into funny girls.

    5. You describe yourself as "chubby." A lot of guys are attracted to chubby girls, but if this bothers you and you want to increase your physical attractiveness, there's a simple solution. Hit the gym and start eating right. Throw out junk food and sweet drinks. Start today. The beauty of this is that it's something you CAN change if you put your mind to it.

    6. Volunteer. Do something to contribute to humanity, to improve someone else's life or bring a smile to someone's face, and suddenly you'll find yourself feeling important and worthy in the world. (And of course, you might meet new friends and a potential boyfriend.)

    Best of luck!

    • Thanks for the help. Really appreciate the feedback.

      I think #1 is my biggest downfall. I'm pretty boring when it comes to 'going out' and such. I'm not a fan of clubs or bars. I'm a bit of a book worm and feel really out of my element at parties and such. I don't drink and I tend to feel quite uncomfortable around drunk people thanks to a really bad experience. I need to work on this the most I think.

      As for #6, I volunteer at a children hospital twice a week. I absolutely love it there :)

    • Show All
    • Thanks so so much for all your help. Really very muchly appreciated!

    • Glad to help!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Everybody finds funny people attractive. The disadvantage you may have is that personality can't be seen from across the room.

    Think about this though. You may be chubby, but that can be fixed with some exercise and a change to your diet. You have no reason to pity yourself. Pity the people that are stuck being bland and unfunny. There's no training regimen to get rid of excess boring ;).


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