Should I try and change my style?

After a strange text conversation with a girl I like this evening, I now know what it is about me she thinks could be hindering me when it comes to my love life (I asked her what things she thought could improve), and aside from the living at home situation, which at the moment I can do nothing about, it seems that dress is my downfall.

I can usually be found in jeans, trainers and a hoody/tshirt, although I do make an effort not to look like I've just been dragged through a hedge. However she says that my looks aren't that bad, but thinks if I was more "stylish", by which she means better fitting jeans, shoes rather than trainers and nice shirts, I could look better. I have a pair of shoes I had to wear to a wedding last month and I have some shirts, so I'm thinking next time I'm going to see her I could try and smarten myself up a bit and hopefully it might make her see me in a different light.

Is it worth stepping massively outside my comfort zone and making these seemingly little changes, or should I forget all about it?There's no right or wrong answer to this, but its bugging me because on 1 hand while I don't necessarily believe people should change to suit others, she is literally all I can think about most of the time


Most Helpful Girl

  • guys who wear shirts are seen as smart, they look after themselves and all guys look their best in a shirt.

    i have a friend who doesn't get any girls whereas his friends do, he isn't amazingly looking but he is such a great guy, and at the end of the day, all women want is someone that makes them feel amazing, in more ways than one, and who they love to see all the time: compatibility etc.

    just make sure, you don't look like uve done too much of an effort.

    get a good pair of jeans, its always worth paying a little extra and having one nice pair of jeans that you know you will always look good in.

    team that with a pair of smart shoes, and a shirt, untucked, make sure it isn't really creased! top button (or two) open and you can even unbutton the sleeves and roll them up your forearms a bit, I find that quite attractive for some reason.


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What Girls Said 3

  • forget about her. changing yourself for a girl can't ever really work. you should be comfortable around her and able to be yourself. I personally think jeans and a hoodie look hot on guys. if you really like her, then make a subtle change and see how you feel about it, but its not worth it if you are going to be feeling uncomfortable all the time

  • You honestly shouldn't change for anyone, you were the same when she met you and she should like you for who you are.In the end it's up to you what you wear,people wear clothes that they like,not because other people like it.You shouldn't have to change what you wear to suit others.
    If you generally don't want to change your clothes,that's fair enough,if she doesn't like it then stuff her,she should accept you for who you are.

  • If she's telling you that your love life is hindered and that you need to change the way you dress to fix it, she is not attracted to you right now and I doubt she will be after the change. She already sees you in a different light. It may help for the next girl, but I doubt it'll help much with her.

    • Sorry mabey I didn't write it properly. She didn't say it was hindered, it was me who used the word, as I brought the subject up.

    • Bringing up the subject about how you could be a better match to a girl you like is really the kiss of death. No girl wants to teach a guy how to be more attractive to her.

What Guys Said 1

  • As people will [b]always[/b] notice the way someone else looks/is dressed first and I believe a good first impression is never something bad, I'd say if YOU believe your dress style could use some improvements then go for it

    You don't have to wear a buttoned shirt in order to be well dressed, sometimes a simple tshirt is sufficient if it works with the rest of your look

    A clean dressed shoe(+matching belt), fitting pair of jeans(don't go baggy), clean and ironed shirt/tshirt(if you go for tshirt, make sure the colours are still fresh(aka looks like new)) and as its nearly winter, you could add a vest to finish off and prevent you from being cold which you can easily take off once your inside and it'd be a bit too warm.

    Make sure the whole look works(colour combination and use colours that fit you, make sure everything is clean, personally I'd recommend dark wash jeans & colourful(or white) shirt/tshirts or light jeans/dark(er) shirt, not going too tight on the tshirt/shirt as it just looks tacky most of the time.

    "If a man cares about the way he looks, it is obvious to other people that he's got something going for himself and that he will probably be a better date. He's not necessarily dressed expensively or crazily, he's a guy who's dressed well and looks neat."

    examples: link



    I'll add that you can't do good with this girl specifically as if you comply and change your look, you'll be submissive which no woman will find attractive, if you ignore it you'll be like you are now but the next girl will probably have the same reaction. My advice is to take her advice and try something new for YOURSELF and the next girl ;

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