I feel like an old soul in a young body?

Is there something wrong with me? I feel like I'm too mature. I wouldn't say I'm too serious because I joke a lot and I like to have fun, but what really stuck out to me is I went to the bar with some of my classmates and, well, I was basically quiet the whole time, letting everyone else talk. There were a few people acting crazy and once upon a time I could, too, but I just can't summon the energy to do that anymore. The whole time I kept thinking I'd much rather just sit down and have a stimulating conversation with a girl.

The problem is that I'm 21. So I'm young, really young, It seems like this is a turnoff to girls---they like the bar-type, because that's considered "fun", even though I like fun, too, just in a different way.

I don't know. I feel like I might be turning off girls that way. I don't want to change.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if that's how you are, that's how you are - don't change.

    Im exactly like that too - the last time I went to the bar, I was actually talking with a friend of my friends and she was absolutely gorgeous and we sat together at the table and just had a real conversation for nearly an hour. We joked around and stuff, but I didn't act crazy or anything. I'm pretty sure if I asked her for her number or something she would have given it to me so I don't think its a complete turnoff for women. Its just the crazy people seem to attract attention away from everyone else - this happened to me too; this girl I spoke with was then with the crazy people the rest of the evening while I just sat there just wanting to talk to someone or go home. Even though nothing came of this, I realized that being a little more quiet and not so outgoing like some people at a bar isn't such a huge turnoff - otherwise I doubt she would have talked to me for so long.

    Could be the type of girls your trying to attract too. not all women are into guys that can act like jackasses in a bar


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • relax, this is a turn on to many girls.

    • Really? I'm actually the same as Question Asker like 90% of the time... I don't think women really dig this person. They would see us like we are bored/silent/not interesting... qualities that would repel girls imo.

      or maybe if you explain how it isnt...?

  • actually no, I don't think its a turn off at all, to me anyways. I feel the same way as you, I'm an old soul, and I just don't fit in with people my own age for that exact reason. I hate going to clubs or bars, its just not my scene at all. and it seem like that's all that people my age ever want to do


What Guys Said 1

  • First of all, no, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Us, I suppose, as I am the same way. Not, too serious, but just a little more mature than most of those around me, I still like to have fun, just in a different way or sense, maybe. In a large social setting, I am similar, letting other people talk the most, and I would also prefer a stimulating conversation with a girl. I think it is just part of the way we are, and not something wrong. I think the turn-off business might just be that most girls around our age (I'm 19) are not looking for men like us yet. I think, possibly, that we seem more like the kind of guy they would settle down with, than the one they would go and have a fling with.

    I know, I don't want to lose myself either,

    • so true man.. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that's sort of like this.

      Sometimes, I get too quiet with friends and they are having all the conversation, usually other guys get all the girls attention and I'm left alone which sucks... :/