Can you decipher this?

Due to being at work at extremely early hours, the guy I have been dating usually sends me a couple texts to say hello and such to start off our day. Here is our conversation this morning………

GUY: You deserve the truth. I’m mortified to tell you because I don’t want to hurt you in any way. I’ve got to slow WAY down with us because I don’t want to hurt you. It’s killing me.

ME: Were we going at a fast rate? A little confused here.

GUY: Well no. It’s just that I like you immensely of course but I am dealing with some stuff and I just got to be very careful with you. I just don’t want to hurt you.

ME: Look I am here if you ever need to talk about the stuff you are going through. All I ask for is complete honesty, do not lead me on, and don’t make promises you cannot keep.

GUY: That’s the main thing. I don’t want to lead you on. Life happens so fast sometimes and my head is kinda spinning right now. You are a great great girl.

ME: Just say it if you want to end whatever we are together. For the record, I don’t want us to end. You are a great guy and I truly hope you realize that.

Since 9AM I have not heard a word back. To be truthful – I am scared. He really is a great guy and he has overcome so much. And there is something there between us – maybe something big. How do I handle this? I feel jolted. I feel like I should have him sit right in front of me and tell him he is worthy enough to be loved. Then there is the side of me thinking maybe he wants an out. Maybe he played me like a fiddle. Anyway, back tracking for you to Friday - we had a great time then out of the blue Saturday morning he sends me a message saying he is going on an impromptu camping trip with buddies. Then nothing until this morning. Ugh.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds to me like he is not ready for a comittment, but thinks you are. He probabably does really like you, but may not want to be in a full relationship (for whatever reason) at this time. Maybe he is not sure he is in love with you and is afraid one day you will pop out the L word and he won't know how to respond (we guys get that way, we start feeling trapped and get all sweaty, not a real pretty picture). By saying he doesn't want to lead you on, it tells me he is not ready for this. My opinion on how to handle it would be to talk to him about it. Tell him you are confused and tell him how you feel about him, but give him a clear out (if that's ok with you.) tell him its fine if you want to go slow, that you want to be with him and are willing to work with it. You should make sure to ask him if this means he will be dating other girls. This is not the impression I get from what's here, but it would be a possible reason and you have to make sure your ok with that or not.

    Good Luck!


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I agree with P guy. He doesn't sound ready for a full commitment. I'm glad he's being honest. I would talk to him and ask him what he feels is an appropriate speed.

  • Maybe he thinks he is moving too fast for your own good. Maybe he wants to sleep with you or thinks it is going to lead to that, and he knows you don't need or want that because or your morals or something, I don't know. But yeah either that or he is too busy for a relationship, doesn't want to drag you into his hectic life/problems, or he just doesn't want a committment. Call him and see what is going on. He probably doesn't want to committ to you, then lose you over his uncommittment issues/problems. He is scared of losing you if he would "jump into" a relationship with you for fear that he would not be ready for a relationship, and end up hurting you and losing you in the long run. I would either go to his house and talk to him or call him. You definitely need to figure something out I would be antsy and worried too!