I seriously need advice!! What to do?

I don't know if I just have OCD because I like things a certain way, I don't know if I just have unrealistic expectations but its been a lot of weight and I don't really know how to handle it.

I've been with my boyfriend for about three years, we've lived together for two years now. I'm 19 years old and he's 27. Everything has been fine and we really connect in every way possible, but lately there's just been too many of those arguments about little things that blow up into bigger things... if you know what I mean? lol..

He recently got laid off work and just sits around the house all day, literally doing NOTHING.. and I'm away at work and school and then coming home and end up cleaning up everything, cooking and then cleaning up after that. When I wake up in the morning before I leave there's always something else to clean.

I don't understand what's so hard about wiping up something that was spilled on the counter, or washing the one dish you used, or putting your dirty clothes in the effin hamper not in front of it on the floor.

I really HATE to be the girl that nags, so I avoid it at all costs, but this is getting ridiculous. And I've talked to him about it and its just literally in one ear and out the other. Its getting really stressful and I don't really feel happy anymore, just stressed and mad. He can tell when I'm upset and he is constantly asking me what's wrong, and when I tell him (always the same answer - what's going on and how I feel about it.) he just acts like he gets it but obviously not because nothing has changed!

He really is a smart guy with a lot of potential, but since he lost his job he's literally just been an effin bum! wtf?!

Advice please? (sorry this is so long)
Also, I'm kind of scared that if I stop doing things for him, I will have a real pig pen for a home! lol! If someone is lazy and you just don't do anything then it would just stay nasty right?
I took your advice and stopped cleaning up after him lol. My house was nasty for awhile but he's kind of realizing things. He did get a job now, I don't feel as stressed anymore. Thank you guys.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you're more mature than him. Kinda sick of him that he was 24 going after a 16 year old by the way. Oh well. And if you can't have an open and honest conversation about it with him and he's not trying to help, sounds like you should kick his ass out (if you are on the lease or whatever) or should move out (if he owns the place) and get away from him. It'd probably be in your best interest and might make him get his ass in gear.

    • In general I guess I understand where you're coming from about the age thing. But its different with us he's not a perv or anything, I'm not like girls my age and there's a lot more to the relationship. Just these small petty things are getting annoying is all.

      My life has just forced me to grow faster than most.

    • Show All
    • Yeah, the first few times I talked to him about it he acted like he was listening, but didn't really show any change. Today he was filling out job apps online though... so that made me feel somewhat better.

    • Well that's good. But if he continues to show no signs of improvement you might wanna take whatever drastic measures you have to.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • There is a few different ways to deal with him. 1) You can give him an ultimatum, ether he starts pulling his own weight or else. 2) Don't clean up after him, when you do the laundry just wash your clothes and not his, eat supper before you get home so if he wants food he has to make it himself etc. You have to understand the longer he is without work and just sits around the house the lazier he will get, so the sooner you put your foot down the better for both of you.


What Girls Said 1

  • i agree with what muddy said!

    if you only tidy the mess you yourself make and your own washing then when your boyfriend runs out of clean clothes etc he's gonna have to do it himself.

    take it from someone who know's the longer you leave it the more frusterated you will get talk to him again and make him understand that him doing nothing makes you feel like you have a lodger instead of a partner

    after all your not his mother why should you have to pick up after him he's old enough to do things himself and it's not fair to you especailly as you work and go to school.

    good luck.


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