How do I get guys to see me as a girl, and not just a bro?

Okay here's the deal I just don't get how to be something other than friends with a guy. I want to be, I think I'm attractive enough ( link ), generally I get along with people pretty well and friends say I'm easy to talk to so I really just don't get it. I do have friends that are guys, in fact I live with five of them along with two other girls. Just for the record I'm not talking about dating them that's a recipe for disaster -- if dormcest is bad housecest, if it went wrong, could turn into what WWIII?

Am I sending out some weird friends only signal? I'm around guys a lot, my major is guy heavy, I'm really outdoorsy, and fairly competitive -- but what gives there are girls like that with relationships. I'm not exactly a shrinking violet here either, I mean I've asked guys out for coffee and hung out with them before -- do you really enjoy talking one on one with a girl for 3 hours if you're just testing to see if she'd be a good friend? If we're talking about pretty personal stuff and you usually see me just slumming it in hiking boots, but I've put on a nice top, actual shoes, and asked you out isn't that kind of a hint?I don't get it and I'm kind of frustrated because I usually understand most things, I'm a human development minor for pete sake -- am I really such an epic failure at reading people? Just to clarify this isn't a one off rant either, this has happened at least 5 or 6 times, over a period of time of course I'm not some guy crazy fiend or anything, but I'm 20 and I've been in college for two years now and I just would really enjoy connecting with someone who sees me as a girl and not just a friend. Is it a problem that I'm never going to be the girl who flounces around in dresses and make up, pretends she's dumb or plays games to get attention? Do guys actually like that? I mean I'm all for a challenge, but this is like trying to solving a rubix cube before you figure out the algorithm.
Also, I don't know how the category got changed -- it said flirting when I was in preview so please don't disregard this because its in a weird place.
Thank you all for your answers, I don't know which one is the best because I fell like they all have little grains of truth in them. I suppose it's now just time to let life take its course, and perhaps on the oft occasion try dolling up a bit!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're gorgeous, with a classic beauty that is much richer than 90% of "pretty" girls. I'm a photographer, and you have a rare beauty that would compel me to approach you in public and ask permission to photograph you. Your looks are definitely not the problem.

    And honestly, from your post, I can't guess what the problem might be, other than looking too hard. I know from experience that, even though it's a cliche, it's also true that you're most likely to find the right person when you're not looking for them. I don't suggest giving up, but you might try just no looking for a while and see what/who sneaks up on you and surprises your heart.


    • Thank you for your rather generous compliment, and I suppose it is time to let life take its course -- although I don't really classify 5 or 6 coffees over a span of two years looking too hard ;o) But to each their own, and I suppose serendipity may take its course over the uncertain roads of life.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're very pretty, and intelligent, a lot of guys may have inferiority complex with you if you come off more intelligent and better than they are at stuff. Guys usually want to be the better person in a relationship with a girl, or at least think they are. I know a few girls like you, and I've actually tried dating them, but we didn't mesh well enough to take it to anything serious past a few dates.

    • Thanks for answering! If you don't mind me asking, why didn't it work out? Is it that general personality that doesn't mesh for you or just individual chemistry?

    • Some were a bit too immature in their behaivor, and others were just too stressful to deal with and obsessed over small problems that weren't all that important, and it got annoying to deal with.

What Girls Said 3

  • ooook your over looking the problem! most people will call you a tomboy! I see you as that in your link! the fact your hair is up... your wear what seems to be sport chothes! dull it down get your hair cut nice (not seems in the middle) if you wanna be seen as girl you have to look like one not with dresses but with nice hair and nice chothes like a nice jeans and a top that will show your curves more! (not flesh) you don't have to wear make up but you do have to treat yourself!

    • Haha, I must be pretty behind the eight ball huh? That was fairly dressy for me, I had a scarf on and everything ;o) I do have a hair cut, it just gets in the way you know -- I will of course take your advice into consideration but a lot of girls wear their hair up! Thanks for answering!

    • ur quite welcome yea a lot of girl do I won't say they don't but have you ever seen the ugly truth...i love it! makes me giggle every time hair up is a big turn off as a women towards men and such as it makes you seem uptight and stuff (am only telling you what gerard bulter said) when your hair is down it makes you out to be loose personaly lol

  • You are pretty and you sound very smart. But maybe you could try to be more feminine and "desirable" to the opposite sex...a little less tom-boyish. I think most guys like more of a "girly-girl" who also has the ability to be their friend.

    • See the funny thing is I've never considered myself to be a tom boy, but after reading a series of these posts I suppose I must be. I shall take that into consideration, and thank you for commenting!

  • im the same way ..let me know what advice you get please ?

    • NP girl! By the way I love the user name -- I was obsessed with the color orange when I was twelve and wore an orange item of clothing everyday for a year, gotta stick with what you like.

    • same here! nah, I'm joking I just felt like fitting in :(

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