They say I'm beautiful but I wish I was invincible.

I've had trouble with my body image. I've had it for a very long time.

people say I'm pretty. But Compliments don't help torn self image.

i can't tell anyone about it. IVE TRIED. people get mad its like this

SHUT UP your beautiful I would kill for your body just stop talking.

no I'm not some girl fishing for compliments. people tell me I'm beautiful all the time. I have loads of friends. I have a good relationship with my family. but I am always wanting to disappear and stay alone.

girls should be flattered if they turn guys heads. but I hate it. I just want to disappear whenever they're looking at me. I feel like they're laughing at how ugly I am. maybe they are who knows.

I'm not anorexic, but I feel so much better when I don't eat. I feel so much better about myself. I'm healthy and toned size 3 to 5 to 7. nobody thinks they're is anything wrong.

this isn't a question asking if I'm cute or not.

i have a problem accepting who I am. and its not anybody putting me down. I want to be happy. and people can't do that. I want to feel like I have something to offer.

how do I stay healthy without getting too obsessive? how do I stop this? ho can I be more comfortable ? I know beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. its just... :S


Most Helpful Guy

  • I was fat all through public school. I was bullied. I had no friends or love interest. I hated myself. I told myself that once I was thin, people would accept me. I didn't realize how toxic that thinking was at the time.

    Fast-forward 10 years. I lost my body fat about a year ago, and started grad school a semester ago. I've noticed a very sharp difference in how the opposite sex treats me now. Walking around campus, I feel like a super model sometimes with all the looks I get. Girls come up and talk to me, flirt, give me their numbers without much hassle. I'm not complaining about this; I'm much happier now than I was when I was fat.

    However, I know exactly what you mean; all that attention just makes me really uncomfortable. I've come to accept that I have an awful self-image, constructed from years of self-hatred during my formative years. And I do also suffer from depression, which doesn't help matters either. My dating life is shot because of it, and I can't explain it to anyone so that it makes sense. I can date a girl, take her out, show her a good time. And I "know" she's attracted because she gives me the signs. And I "know" she wants to see me more because she's always happy I'm around. But I never "feel" like they are actually into me, if that makes sense. Nothing with a girl ever feels like its going right, and I usually withdrawal and avoid contact after a couple dates.

    I think it comes down to changing your internal dialogue. And if you stop and listen for it, you can hear it, so to speak. I'll catch myself subconsciously belittling myself, and I have to stop and say, "Everything's fine. You're a funny, talented man, and any women would be lucky to have you." That helps sometimes, but really, at the end of the day, it's exhausting. It's exhausting trying to interact in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. And it's exhausting always having to correct yourself. But it gets easier once you see progress. Plus, I think therapy might help, which I plan to look into soon.

    I don't know who you are, but I know what you're going through. And if you're anything like me, I know there's a happy person under that terrible self-image, just waiting to be free and make everyone else happy.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Do you mean invisible?

    But anyway, I was actually surprised by this question because I feel the same way at times. Basically what I've told a friend is that sometimes I feel like my mind and the way it works doesn't match my body at all. I can't really describe my personality because it's just too complex to even start. But if I can say this, I don't act how you think I would based on my looks if that makes any sense. If I looked more like a nerd, for example, then something like that would be a better fit for me. I know it's probably wrong to say openly that I take my looks for granted, but sometimes I just wish I could wear a mask. I don't like the expectations I have laid on me from other people simply because I look a certain way. I don't live up to their standards, nor do I want to and I'm fine with that. I just sometimes wish other people would understand that. If I could give my looks to someone else who could make better use of them, I just might do that.

    And about what you said in your second paragraph, it reminds me of when I struggled with serious depression back in my teen years. I felt like I didn't belong in my body because I acted way different than everybody else. I had a dream a few times that I literally scarred my face with scissors or a knife just so I could get the attention I thought I deserved.

    I don't EVER tell people about stuff like this, so that's why I want you to know that I understand where you are coming from. I empathize with you enough to feel comfortable sharing this with you. Besides any type of depression or mental illness you may have (which can screw with your self esteem majorly), you might want to try "finding yourself"- doing things for you, for your own happiness, because YOU want to, and disregard what the rest of the world thinks about you. How you get there is up to you.

    Take care.


What Girls Said 2

  • Everyone is insecure about something,but not everyone allows it to be a mental obstacle.However,I do think that everyone tends to forget that compliments do not make insecurities disappear because insecurities aren't always about impressing girls,boys,sisters,mothers,fathers,brothers,best friends or "homeboys," many of times,they are about impressing yourself and liking who you are,what you are and what you look like.

    Perhaps you are depressed?If it is affecting you to the point to where you want to "hide" then there is a possibility you could isolate yourself and become depressed.

    First off,I think you need to take a good look at yourself.What exactly do you not like about yourself?HOW can you change that?

    For some girls,something as small as getting a mani/pedi can change how they feel about themselves completely.Or eating healthy or exercising.

    I've dealt with eating horribly for the longest time,there'd be times when I'd go months without eating and I used to binge hardcore and purge.It made me felt better,I prided myself on it,it's such an adrenaline rush,but at the end of the day,adrenaline rush doesn't change or fix anything.

    Try focusing on the positive.It's super easy for me to tell you to not care what others think,but it can also be super hard to actually not care.I have actually gotten to a point in life where I truly don't care(if I ever did lmao)

    Improve what you can naturally and accept what you can't.

  • I am the exact same way. And I mean everything you just said is exactly and I mean exactly me in a nutshell. It's hard. It really is and honestly I feel like I can't except it, I'm always looking to improve myself and its exhuasting. But until I reach my goals I feel like I'll be the same way my whole life. I don't know what I can do about it. Its hard to be comfortable in my own skin when there's always someone out there that has a better smile, or a tighter stomach. etc. its an issue that will haunt me forever.


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