What's the best thing you've heard a non-native English speaker say?

I love listening to people who don't speak English as their first language. I like to hear what words they choose and how they use the words.

For example, most people who speak English would say, "my weight yo-yos" to say that it goes up and down, but my coworker the other day said, "my weight is a yo-yo."

Not the best example, but you get the idea. I also like it when she says Wednesday because she pronounces all three syllables.

So what have you heard that you liked or thought was interesting?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a foregin friend in high school. One day we were in maths and I was just looking out the window and she was eating nuts, when suddenly she turns to me and says

    "I love penis."

    me: what did you just say?

    her: I love penis.

    I burst out laughing and she frantically pulls my arm: Why are you laughing? why are you laughing?

    I wipe my eyes: write down what word you meant to say.

    So she writes down 'peanuts'.

    Me: okay, you said this.

    She reads it then looks at me: What does it mean?

    I start laughing again and tell her to look it up on her dictionary. She does and her face turned to horror.


    lol, that still makes me laugh today.


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What Guys Said 19

  • One of the physics profs at my college is an old Asian woman, every time she says "direction" it sounds like "erection", what makes it even better is she will often be pointing to a big arrow on the white board and say "that erection"

  • I dated a Polish girl whose voice, accent and way of speaking I just loved... the best thing she said to me was, 'Did I Left My Jammies At Yours?' Basically she said left as it was past tense, instead of leave at the same time used a slang term for pyjamas. I thought it was adorable. :3

  • ¿Por què hace usted esta pregunta usted se burla porqué no ablo el inglés? Cuando uste oye alguien que no habla inglés pa uste se suena gracioso por què yo sólo sé el español?

    • no creo que tu solo sepas espan~ol si entendiste esta pregunta. Ella no esta haciendole burla a nadie solo le parece interesante como ablan cuando no es costumbre para otros pero no piensa que es gracioso. No te preocupes no esta ofendiendo a nadie.

    • Show All
    • I obviously missed this whole conversation, but I was not intending to be malicious at all. I don't laugh at them - I think they use English words better than we do sometimes. I find it very interesting to hear people use English words in ways we wouldn't think of. It has nothing to do with pronunciation of words or laughing at people..

    • I also speak a little Spanish, so I can appreciate how difficult it is to speak another language. I know the frustration that comes from knowing what you'd like to say but not being able to find the words. I wouldn't laugh at someone for that..

  • A sub teacher once said to a girl talking too much "you have two ears and one mouth, but you use them disproportionately"

  • Many europeans who speak English as a second language, don't know that "Sword" has a silent 'w'

    So instead of saying "sord" they pronounce it as "sw-ord"

    It always sounds very strange to my ear.

  • My friend works at a restaurant, but the phone number to the restaurant is the same phone number to the geek squad computer tech company (best buy), except without the 1-800 in the beginning. And what happens is people call my friends restaurant when they're actually looking for the geek squad. A while back, my friend answers the phone and hears the other person say "Yeah my modem is broken" ... so my friend puts him on hold and gets his co-worker Abdul, (who is from morocco, and doesn't know what a crank/prank call is, but my friend Matt see's an opportunity to mess with Abdul and tells him he has a phone call. They joke back and forth)...

    Abdul answers the phone and again the guy says "Yeah my modem is broke, and I can't fix it!" and Abdul gets confused and says "Well, Buddy, I can put cheese and pepperoni on your modem and cook it until its well-done but I don't know if that will help."

    And my friend Matt, starts laughing so hard, he burnt the food he was cooking.

  • There's this guy in Three Kings called Captain Said that says some pretty funny things in a thick Arabic accent.

    "Oh my God buddy, I didn't even tell you the horrible part yet."

  • "This is so sweet!"

    Instead of

    "That is so sweet!"

    • What's with the downs? I'm being serious. I thought it was really nice of her to say, and it being slightly off made me laugh.

  • My country has its own page on wikipedia... link :D

  • At Heathrow airport in London a few years back: a woman approaches airport staff and says "Execute me please, where are the toilets?" I almost died laughing.

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What Girls Said 27

  • my friend made a faux pas when she first came to america... she's chinese so she has an accent. She wanted to order a soda at a restaurant. Well, she ordered a "c.o.c.k" and the waiter goes what? She said, I'd like a c**k please...

    After realising what was happening and no doubt wondering if he just got a boner...

    he said, Oh you'd like a coke?!

    she said, not realising her mistake. "yes, I'd like a c**k please..."


  • Once, during a class my foreign friend was trying to explain something, and he didn't know how to say rooster, so he said "chicken man". He's still haring about it from me 5 years later :))

  • In high school, we had a foreign exchange student. He said the most amazing thing about America is their "cheese in a can." He was talking about Easy Cheese, & aparrantly, they didn't have that in the country he was from. You may have had to be there to get how funny it was, but it was hilarious.

  • Not to me, but my cousin always e-mails me these hilarius absence excuses and other things from Indians who are non-native English speakers:

    "As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

    "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." =)

    "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

    A candidate's job application:

    "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post."

  • This was made by the guy who does southpark (while he was still in school): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SokQQBHWUpY

    I know the quality of this vid sucks, but its still funny.

  • hahaha everything on this site.


  • Ahaha this reminds me of a guy on youtube, he puts up hilarious prank call vids.. he's been known to call 711 and posing to be a member of the "Employee Accent Traning Division" He was on the phone with this poor indian guy who just opened a 711, and was telling him how to say certain things, and told him that he HAD to say "You look like whale" after he checked customers out and you could hear him telling customers "You look like whale, goodbye" Told him to tell a customer "bang bank skeet skeet nigga" and some inappropriate things to a female customer.. It was absolutely freakin hilarious. OwnagePranks on youtube. Honestly never laughed so hard on the internet.

    Not completely on topic. But kind of.

  • My spanish teacher he used to pronounce vegtables as veggg-etta-bles ha ha that was one of the ones I thought was funny, or this german sub we had said weinersnichel supppper funny haha

  • guy from taiwan : they were together last night and he shot for her

    me: he shot? what did he shoot for her?

    him: sperm.


  • One time me, my dad, my mom, and my brother (Rich) were in the car headed to New York. My dad called up my brother (Don) to ask him how his doctor appointment went the other day.

    Don: They're giving me 3 weeks. (Joking)

    Dad: Oh. Everybody, he's going to be better in 3 weeks.

    Another time my dad got mad at me for not putting my dirty clothes in right place.

    Dad: Put your clothes in the hampster!

    Mom: The hampster? You mean the hamper.

    Dad: What's the difference?

    Another time was when I was with my cousin. He kept repeating this thing that his music teacher would always say, "Thank you, you are very window." What does that mean? lol.

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