Where do I stand? Put yourself in her shoes...

OK ladies, put yourself in her shoes. Lets say you once had a huge crush on me, but I turn you down. After getting a boyfriend later that year, you start to contact me again, and reveal how incredibly hurt you were by me, but after some miscommunication, you angrily tell me how you would never go out with me, even if I came back begging. Years pass during which you've had a steady boyfriend for a while, though going through ups and downs. You decide to see how my life was going and contact me again. We meet and hang out together a few times, like the friends we once were. We are very comfortable with each other and able to make each other laugh and smile, with absolutely nothing sexual of nature implied. Lets say, after a long relationship, you finally break up with your boyfriend. Where do I stand? No chance? Short-leash? A pillar you can fall back on? Rip me apart if you wish, I just want to hear what you think.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would keep it as a friendship to tell you the truth.. I been in this situation and the tables always turn the guys later want to talk to me. But I let them know they had their chance back then and the feeling I once had for them just stoped. In your situation I don't know how you feel about her but don't rush into anything or you'll be the rebound keep it simple for now.

    • I've always liked her. I rejected her so we both didn't get tied down after I left for college that year(she was still a freshman in high school). Of course, I wouldn't show up on her doorstep the day after a break up, but do you think she would understand a little if I confessed to her and told her that someday? Thanks for reading in any case.

    • No prob and you should tell her eventually

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What Girls Said 3

  • I've been in something sort of similar. I think you still have a chance but you're kinda the guy that got away, that in my -her- head you've been built into a whole 'if we had been together it would have been perfect' and because of that it's fun to have you around and pretend that that relationship is always an option, but probably never actually date you for fear of ruining that perfect dream relationship.

  • The fact that she's made the effort to contact you each time, as opposed to you contacting her, would lead me to believe she has some form of feelings for you.

    I'd think you you stand a good chance of something more than friendship happening.

    • Think so? Would you ever contact and hang out with a guy if he had hurt you bad in the past? I really don't want to hurt her again.

    • It depends..sometimes when someone hurts you badly, you just can't get over it. Even if you try, for some reason that bridge has been burned and what you had was lost.

      But other times, even though they hurt you badly, you are drawn back to them and are able to get over it and move on.

      I think, if she was the former, she maybe would have contacted you once, just to see how she still felt about you, and realising it was still raw, would have moved on. But she did it twice.. leads me to believe..

    • ...that there's still a chance. That she's recovered from the hurt enough to want to see if there's more to pursue there.

      I think, if you really like her, then let her know...what do you have to lose?

  • if I was her I wouldn't take a risk of breaking my heart AGAIN... but u're a lucky guy! she still contacts you and talks to you which might mean something... you can try though and ask her out... it wouldn't hurt..or maybe talk to her starting with "i have a friend who..." and tell her your story and then ask her what your friend (a.k.a you) should do... she'd probably guess it's you, if she's not a complete dumbass... but still, girls always fall for that one!


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