Is it a sign of self hatred if a black woman relaxes her hair?

Cherokeehp
I had never had a relaxer in my life, but I had a lot of heat damage in my hair, so I went natural back in 2017 hoping to grow my hair longer and healthier. I hated it. I hated buying expensive products for natural hair, I hated spending forever doing twist outs/braid outs/rod and sometimes my hair still wouldn’t turn out how I wanted it to, I hated using tons of gel to try to slick my hair back for puffs/ponytails, and my hair started breaking off even more than before. So I relaxed my hair two years later. I actually went to get a texturized to loosen my curl pattern, but the stylist ended up relaxing my hair bone straight. At first I instantly regretted it, but now I don’t really mind. I’ve only ever relaxed my hair that one time, but since then everyone constantly feels the need to lecture me on how I must have all this internalized self hatred. I think natural hair is beautiful, I’m just not very good at braiding and stuff like that and natural hair requires lots of time and skill and care. My relaxed hair is just easier and more convenient to deal with.
Is it a sign of self hatred if a black woman relaxes her hair?
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