The minute I go quiet girls start to talk to me, does this happen to you?

Everytime I talk with a stranger who's female - as long as I have something to say/do/etc to keep the energy alive, everything rolls smoothly.. But the minute I'm quiet, a girl starts to talk about drama/ex's/etc.. (Specificity: "Tom and angeli just broke up! I know it's crazy.. they've been together so long.." // "Wow my boyfriend is so dumb.. last night he wouldn't pick me up from the bar, so I had to call a cab...'blahblahblah')...

What's stunning to me, is that it happens with the same girl I was just entertaining.. Is this just me, or does this happen to you guys too? Cause it's a huge turn off and I'm wondering if I'm sending the wrong sign, or maybe these girls are trying to squash attraction, or ..? who knows what else?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a bit sarcastic when that happens so I just say, "yeah this session for therapy is $1000, I'm totally serious." They laugh and I keep on rolling. "Yeah, I'm a certified therapist, rated #1 in America." etc etc. But that is just my style. And I do get fed up with girls who can't add to a conversation.

    Conversation is like a dance, where each takes turn leading and following. If she can't properly dance, I consider her a no-personality type person.

    • I swear, girls become compliant to the attention guys give them. So they stop working on being interesting. Probably a factor.

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    • Psh. Its up your arse. Collect. :d.

    • I like it.

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What Girls Said 4

  • We sometimes talk to guys like we would our girlfriends, lol. Or maybe they're just bad conversationalists and don't really know what else to talk about.

    • I'm being bluntly honest - I get absolutely disgusted when I'm treated like the "girlfriend".. What's a good way to let a girl down without hurting her feelings (i.e. without walking away, without saying: "wow your dumb".. etc)? Basically, what way would you recommend for a guy to remind you that he's not your "girlfriend"?

    • Just change the subject. If she can't keep a conversation going without going back to things that are drama-related that she should be whining to her girlfriends about instead, eh well.. she's probably not interesting enough to talk to anyway. I'm the worst conversationalist in the world, but I can keep a convo rolling for a while. I don't mind airing my dirty laundry, but only when people ask about it.. some people assumed everyone wants to know about theirs lol. Typically self-centered people

  • In my opinion, I think the girl feels a bit nervous about the silence and talks about whatever comes to mind including gossip or exes or whatever.

    You can actually tell if a girl likes you. And as long as she doesn't talk to you about other guys she likes, you're clear.

    Usually, for me, when I like a guy, it's only normal I'd talk about meaningless stuff (I'm sort of a goofy spontaneous person who says whatever I have in mind) but mostly, I'd never EVER talk about other guys I find hot or like. That's direct code for friend zone.

  • Yea I think you may be sending a I-want-to-be-your-friend signal and girls LOVE talking about the guys they are most interested in at the time.

  • what do you like to talk about with a girl? I think sometimes girls say things to test you or to get to know you better? I try to stay away from that crap but sometimes its the guy who brings it up.when you first meet I def don't think its a good idea.

    • Typically stuff that's interesting me that day - cause I'm REALLY f***in' spontaneous.. <-- Even me saying that, is an understatement... for example, songs are most recently on my mind thanks to a friend from this site. So when I think of music/songs/etc.. I think of fair, which could be a target of conversation.. Or about what I could be doing with my summer (seeing as fair is in summer).. etc.. An ROUGH example: ".. I wanna get in the river so bad - I can't wait for summer to get here".. etc

    • damn I really wanna go skinny dipping lol:) never have been ...idk that's what popped in my head when you said that lol

    • Me either! I'd so be game for that but in my area everyone looks at you like a freak for saying those things. Makes me wanna do it anyways lol. <-- That's what I have to say to you, as the way I would respond to that in real life.. I really don't think it's anything I do wrong.. But I just get so.."in my head"? that a conversation might start leaning that way - that I end up shutting up before I become their next "girlfriend".. I'm sick of the friendzone and of being the therapist..

What Guys Said 4

  • I see it with many girls, but not all. The ones I know in person and around generally don't :) I like girls like that. They try and add with cool stuff. This one girl I really like a lot right now, she talks about the most interesting things every time and I love talking to her :P wish she'd talk more though, she's often distant and ya.

  • I'd like to be able to say that. When things get quiet, things get awkward for me. It's not an enjoyable experience, kinda disheartening and really uncomfortable lol

  • It happens when you talk to all girls. It's not really a turn off or anything, it's just a time when you tune them out and stare at their breasts.

  • I certainly have, though mostly online. As soon as there's a lull in the conversation:

    "So there's this guy I kinda want to hook up with..."

    "I'm really upset because my boyfriend did ______"

    "I had a sh*tty day. Some guy I was trying to get with called me ugly to his friends"

    "omg so I met this guy and he's tall and sexy but I still miss my ex ;_;"

    I can understand why you would want to talk about guys to your close girlfriends, but I really don't see the reason for doing so to some random guy on the internet. Your friends can sympathize better, and if you're looking for advice, then they know you and your situation a lot better than I do. It's still preferable to talking with girls whose idea of conversation is "lol" as a response to everything you say.

    • Exactly! Not to mention that their true "female"-friends would give them the comfort they want, versus the ever-so-common "god my boyfriend just can't give me the comfort.. I just want to tell him my problems without him trying to fix them!"

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