If you are already married or in a committed relationship. What made you decide that she was the one? Or did you just stick with her out of sheer comfort of having been in the relationship for a long time.
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The obvious things:
- Ambition / Determination / Drive
- Congruency (Don't play mind games / etc) !
The harder-to-find qualities:
1) I got tired of being the guy who "analyzed everyone" in order to try and find a perfect mate before investing the effort.. So now I'm looking for partners that I can have fun with.. if I can have fun with you, and you have a few qualities compared to my ideals for appearance/personality - then you have a great potential for blooming into a relationship.
2) DOES NOT talk to me like I'm anything other than a genuine guy. SERIOUS turn off.. When a girl treats me like her "girlfriend" or like I'm some idiot / etc.. I laugh and move on to people that matter. It's part of the whole "Respect" thing.. And furthermore, I'm really bewildered why PEOPLE in general talk to strangers about their problems...?
3) Doesn't try to pull the expectation cards.. Instead tries to show me that's she's worth it.. I hate hearing BS like "I want you to call me more".. I want to see that when I call, that you can hold a conversation.. that you can make me laugh, etc.. It makes me DESIRE doing things for "us" - not just you.
IMPORTANT: 4) Keeps me in-line.. there's times that our relationship will be challenged or rivaled with other opportunities.. It's the women who strive to make it last that get the most effort out of me, not the ones who try to find a reason to give up.
SUPER-Important: 5) She knows how attraction works for me.. What really makes me want to stick around. What... "holds me" at the edge of my seat, waiting for what's going to happen next.
This list could go on forever.. And I don't "Expect" anything from the list.. These are just my preferences and "benchmarks" for seeing if I'm willing to take the risk to fight for a new relationship.
As for a summarization for an easy-to-memorize carbon-copy of what I said:
- I want someone who takes effort into "herself" and into the potential "us"; a GENUINE person.. Someone who has stuff to talk about.. Someone who is honest, respectful, etc.. Someone who would treat me with the same "chivalry" that I would treat them with.. But not someone who is forcing it.. Just someone that is a good person deep to their personality.