What is sadder than knowing that no matter how hard I tried I can't compensate for my outer appearance?

Guys can't see through my facial scars and I get racist remarks because I am a minority. I feel unloved, unwanted, and not enough. No matter how much I cultivate my inner beauty, people can't see pass my looks.
I am considering facial scar removal. I want to for once feel beautiful but I can't afford that. It is just sad to stand in the same room and guys will stare and respect other girls but always turned away when they see me. I must be ugly and to be told by family members and old friends, it sure hurt.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry you feel this way : (

    No one should feel unloved or unwanted.

    That being said,

    I agree with the person who said that guys can smell insecurity a mile away.

    I know it's not always easy to pretend that something isn't bothering you, especially something physical in an appearance based society. But, the best thing to do is to not let it affect you. (I know, easier said than done.) You have to realize that there's nothing you can do about that and anyone who makes fun of you for it isn't worth your time.

    The same goes for being a minority. You were born that way, nothing can fix it. I know what you're going through there, I was the only black kid in an all white school, and I heard them the entire time grown up from elementary school up through high school. The only things you can do are A) take it and run with it, don't let it define but let people be aware that, that IS a part of you and you're not ashamed. or B) ignore it and once people see it doesn't affect you, they'll give it up. People are fickle that way,

    The best advice I can give you is this:

    Don't ever try to compensate for anything. You are who you are, and you have to just be yourself. People can tell when you're trying to hide something that hurts you. However, if you don't let those things rule your life then they're just tiny obstacles instead of brick walls. And if it makes you feel better, those people that are making fun of you are probably at the prime of their life. When they get older, they'll have nothing. (that always makes me smile : ) ) And as far as surgery, if it's something that will truly make you feel better, then save up and go for it. Check your insurance and see if anything will go along with it. However, if you're only doing it for acceptance, beware. Physically fitting it doesn't make you emotionally stable. Only you can do that for yourself.

    Good luck hun, I hope that everything works out for you : )

    I have faith that someday you'll find good friends and relationships that make you forget all about your insecurities.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Its your destiny, its your life. You can only do so little in this life, rules in this world, you need to make the most of it.

    Its your choice, to change. Remember, we humans are adaptable beings. We can choose to go with the flow or against the flow. But its best to go with the flow, cancer patients and survivors, authors, poets, historical figures have all said "Life is short, make the most of it".

    "If you live in a cold environment and wear no clothes, you will die".

  • It can be a f***ing tough gig sometimes, being 18-24. I'm not gonna lie to you. Life for all intents and purposes is pretty rough for you today, and that's about it. What the hell can you really do?

  • guys can smell insecurity far away. I know its cliche but it has very little to do with your appearance and all about your insecurities. I have known girls all my life who are not hot or the prettiest girl and have their flaws but they act like they don't care and they act like they are awesome and beautiful and like they love themselves.

    and these guys all guys good looking guys fall all over these girls because they are so god dam confident in their own skin even though they are not real thin and have facial scars, etc. I'm tellin you its all in being confident in your own skin. work on that.

    same thing when you see a hot girl with a guy whose gross and super fat and totally unappealing. work on confidence in self help book area.

  • Yeah, most people are shallow. Nothing new there.


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm sorry.

    Save up for plastic/cosmetic surgery.

  • people or guys? stop worrying about them and worr abot yourself. be happy with who you are and love yourself


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