Well, for the past 2 months, this girl and I have really been connecting. I told her I have a girlfriend, and she told me she has a boyfriend, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other for the both of us. We just connect on such a deep level, and the sexual tension is sort of there too (not so much on its own, but more as of byproduct of how connected we feel).
She's really been getting very close lately, but I can't help feeling horrible. For one, the first thing I think about it her boyfriend. The second thing I think about is my girlfriend. The third thing I think about is that I'm already sort of happy where I am. I just feel bad. I don't know if that's a good thing, or I should stop holding myself and the whole situation back.
Most Helpful Guy
A deep connection like this is very rare and I think to be highly valued.
You could definitely try and move forward with her (ask her out for coffee), keeping it on the down low. You could then see how things go. Perhaps at some point, the significant others will come up, and discussion of some sort will ensue.
Depending on the relationship you have with your current girlfriend, it could be okay to talk about this with her. Maybe she'd be okay? Maybe you can negotiate with her? She gives you some kind of permission to explore the connection, and you take her shopping for shoes? Maybe she gives you permission, and you give her the same kind of permission? Maybe you'll need to bring this up more than once.
Again, something like this is rare, I think. I imagine it would be very painful for you (and the woman at work, it seems) to simply break this off. I wouldn't be surprised if you both need to explore this connection.