I haven't been single long- since Oct. I've started to go out more regularly and mingling, mainly going to bars and clubs. I personally do not see myself as attractive, I'd say I was average looking and dress nicely. I am ready to date but all I seem to attract are guys that at 35 seem way too young to date me and even after I reveal how old I am they still want to take my number and pursue me for a date. What gives? I don't understand why guys so young would be interested in me and the places I go to are full of guys my age but they don't even look in my direction!
Most Helpful Girl
Welcome to the new world of dating :) I became single at the age of 42 after 13 years of marriage and mostly all I ever had approach me were 20' somethings. So, here is the scoop:
1. There are a lot more unattached 20 somethings than any other age range for men. As I dated more I found that 20 somethings were plentiful, 30 somethings almost non-existent (I think most of them just got married and are starting families) and 40 and over had a certain amount of guys who had recently divorced, were completely burnt out on the idea of a relationship and were only looking for casual hookups. Not all guys over 40 were like that, of course, but those that were clearly were out of touch with all the 20 something guys available for "fun" if that was really what we wanted.
2. 20 something guys tend to pursue a lot due to the lure of sex with an older woman, not because they see us as relationship material. My belief is that guys are always looking for surefire ways to get sex. One theory is that older women are constantly horny and don't want relationships, so all they will expect from you is to sleep with them. Lame, I know, but I have heard this propounded as the "Cougar" way.
3. Of the 20 somethings that would like a relationship, some want a strong female partner who will care for them, not necessarily financially, but emotionally. Finally, there are a few (usually at the older end) who would like a relationship and prefer older women because they feel we are less dramatic and more self-sufficient. Some guys are just programmed to be more physically attracted to an older woman.
We cannot control who we attract, we can only choose those from that group that work for us. I personally have enjoyed dating and having a relationship with men younger than me as long as they are mature beyond their years and not looking for a mommy replacement. It is up to you to decide what works for you. Good luck!3