Overcoming my shyness?

Long story short, I am an extremely shy person. I'm still shy towards my closest friends, I even stutter. I can't get in front of my class and make a presentation without stuttering, or shaking. Even after the presentation, I'd still shake.

Is there anyway I could overcome this shyness?


Most Helpful Girl

  • For me, it was a matter of forcing myself to say things even though I felt too shy to. The more I did it, the more comfortable I became with doing it.

    When I was younger, I used to have moments all the time where I wanted to say something, but I felt so shy that I couldn't get the words out of my mouth, and if I did, I felt like it sounded weird or the words got jumbled and then I just felt stupid.

    I had this moment when I was about 17. I was sitting on the bus and next to me there was this guy, maybe a few years older than me, drawing. He was drawing this amazing picture of a dragon and I was amazed at how he was able to draw so well, even on a bumpy bus ride. I wanted to compliment him on it, but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I tried a few times, and I couldn't. Then I thought to myself, "This is stupid. People make small talk all the time, no problem, and I can't say this one silly thing. It's just a compliment too, it's not like I'm trying to ask him out on a date or anything, what's the worst that could happen?" So, I forced myself to say, "That's really good." It was difficult for me, but I forced myself to do it anyway. And do you know what happened? He said, "Thanks" and smiled. I thought, I was so afraid to say that, and what for?

    After that, I made a decision that I would continue to force myself to talk to people, no matter how hard it was. And I did. It was hard at first, but the more I did it, the easier it became---especially when I realized that more often than not, people responded positively to me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • One thing I learned from playing the trumpet is that nerves, sometimes, are not caused by fear. You can be as prepared as possible, and still have nerves. You can get up in an empty room to deliver your piece, and you can still have nerves. But that isn't to say that those nerves are because you're nervous. Perhaps you're more excited to share yourself, to start forming those bonds and connections with people. See if what you're negatively feeling isn't, in actuality, a positive thing. I want to share my music with people, I want to be told that I'm good, and people want to hear a good performance. So, I get excited, and sometimes my knees shake and such, but it's not out of fear.

    Also, I read a tip in Men's Health that you can overcome shyness by random acts of kindness. Randomly talk to people, or say hello. Help an elderly person across the street. Little things can transfer into bigger things. I tend to be a shy person as well, so I feel your pain - especially when it comes to women (for me). Good luck to you, I think all of us need a bit of luck on occasion.


What Girls Said 2

  • Hmm one way I overcame that fear is I got a job where you talk to different people everyday and you make announcements at the job and you kind of get over the shyness and the shaking, I really surprise myself when I speak in front of people. Usually people hold a stress ball and press on it every time you feel like you're going to shake or stutter. Or imagine the whole class in their underwear :p but that won't work. You'll grow out of that stage.

  • Oh my god Anonymous User! I am the exact same way. I can't even talk o my relatives. But all my relatives know that I am shy! Try telling your relatives. I'm sure they'll probably understand! If you can't try telling anybody you absolutely trust. You don't have to say it to them face to face, just write it down and give it to them.


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