What can I do to get a woman to be "attracted" to me physically?

I've been married for 10+ years and my wife is no longer attracted to me. We are great friends, don't fight, and I think that she is VERY attractive, but she doesn't feel that way about me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • hit the gym, work out. get a bowflex or start doing p90x dress nicely take care of your appearance. take note of the men your wife does find attractive and sort of try to adopt some of his traits

    • Some people I know when they married or have steady relationships stop taking care of their appearances... Stay healthy and fit. Don't forget to love and take care of yourself. Go out and do your own things with people and friends you'd like to hang out with. Retrace what attracted her the

      most about you way before you two were dating..., ask your wife what areas you need to work on

      or improve to be better husband/person

    • This is the best advice. If she's not attracted to men generally, she might be hitting menopause and needs to see her gynecologist. If she has sexual fantasies or you can find out what they are, living them out together lets both of you be other people and that might get the ball rolling. In the meantime, get in the best shape of your life and note how she reacts to the attention you'll start getting from other women.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • i don't know what your physical condition is, but working out might help. six pack and triple v's are hot. and I don't like hair (like chest hair, facial hair). does she? what did she originally like about you? go back to that if you can (like if it was hair color you could dye yours).

    • Silv3r, a six-pack and ripped body is not very realistic, particularly if he has never had one. A simple slim-down (if a considerable amount of weight has been gained throughout the marriage) could be all needed.

      I find bodily hair attractive, for the record-- so your opinion won't hold true to everyone.

    • just an opinion. my ex had a ripped body, with the six pack and triple v's. that's why I like them. considering he's older, you're right, its probably not possible. and the hair thing, also subjective. he asked what physically attracted a woman. those are some things. it really is all subjective though, just like you say. it depends what the wife likes. that's what he'll need to focus on.

  • Look sharp, smell nice, smile and be helpful (like if you see her running for the train, try to hold the door for her. Stand up straight (it makes us feel a little more dainty if you're taller with good posture).

  • Did she ever feel that way about you? I'm not getting what you're asking. Seems like if she married you that she had to feel some sort of physical attraction. Has it been this way for a while? If not, can you recall when it changed? Did you change in some way?

    • It has been this way for a while. I knew that something was wrong, I just didn't know what it was until she finally told me. Neither of us can think of a way that it changed. I try to dress right and I have the six pack. I'm not a big muscular guy and she has said that she likes chest and arms. I'm working at it, its just not my body type.

  • The hottest straight guys I know are not afraid to look at another guy and admit (probably only to their female friends) that another guy is good looking. They see things that make the guy look good, clothes, hair style, personal hygiene, physical shape, etc and they incorporate it into their style. These guys get lots of girls and some of the hottest girls. It does not make them gay, it makes them more appealing to the opposite gender. You don't have to admit to anyone that you do this but sometimes it's easiest to see what others are doing and make it your own.


What Guys Said 1

  • Stop being so nice and understanding. Don't raise your voice or get angry, just stop tiptoeing around her hoping that by being a good guy she'll dig you again. It sounds counterintuitive, but try it.


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