but we're both insecure. I actually have reason to be cause I got in a fight with this girl and her and her guy friends would call me ugly all throughout high school. but whenever someone says she's pretty or that they like her clothes, hair, etc. she's always like 'ugh no I'm not I look like sh*t, I'm so ugly.'
when really she doesn't. what's your opinon?
Most Helpful Girl
I think for some people it's to try to get compliments, for others it might be a strange attempt at modesty.
But I'd also suggest that there's probably a sort of "relative insecurity" phenomenon going on. We're often our own worst critics, and most people have aspects of themselves that they don't like, but I think there's a tendency to judge yourself in comparison to people who you see as more attractive than yourself (since most people want to be more attractive, rather than be satisfied that they're more attractive than someone else).
I'll use weight as an example. Say a girl weighs 170 lbs. She doesn't look at a girl who is 250 lbs and think, "I'm thin.", instead, she looks at a girl who weighs, say, 130 lbs, and thinks "I'm fat." But the girl who weighs 130 lbs probably isn't looking at the girl who weighs 170 lbs and thinking, "I'm thin:, she's looking at the girl who weighs 110 lbs and thinking, "I'm fat." And the girl who weighs 250 lbs is probably looking at all of them and thinking, "Why the hell do all these thin girls keep complaining about being fat when they're no where near being fat?"
As for your friend, she's probably thinking that she's ugly compared to the girls that she thinks are more attractive than her, rather than realizing that she's more attractive than a ton of other girls.