Why mothers never pick sides with their daughters in these situations?

i remember like it was yesterday back in 1997 (I was 10 years old). it was a really hot day and everybody when to the beach that day. in the afternoon my mom when to her bbf home to visit. my mom's bbf's daughter and niece had just came back from the beach and they were tired relaxing in their rooms while still having their bathing suit on, then the phone rings and my mom's bbf tell her daughter to answer. the daughter walks by the kitchen with her bathing suit on (which was a thong), and I checked her out, my mom's bbf cough me staring and puts me in the spot (in a positive way) and says "oohh look! he so cute! he is checking her out!". I mean wouldn't a mother be upset if anybody was checking her daughter out? or was it because I was too young and not capable of anything? and I've also noticed that in situations similar to these one the mother will always hold daughter guilty by telling them "why are you dressing like a whore in front of everybody" instead of taking actions on the guys who check them out
ooohh! and I forgot to add that, my mom's bbf's daughters and niece where in their late teens at this time (maybe 17-20)
hey and that last line I said, my mom's bbf never told that to her daughter. I was just saying that most mothers tell their daughters those types of things when situations like this happen rather then picking side with their daughters...

it reminds me of one of 2 Live Crew's old song that in one verse they go "I WONT TELL YOUR MOMMA IF YOU DONT TELL YOUR DAD"


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well as a mother it as strange that she wasn't concerned of her daughters attire

    But yeah, she probably saw you as a little curious boy rather than a potential threat to her virginity (if at all)

    Theres also moms that just like boys more than girls (like my grandma)

    Even if you were a lazyass and her girl were a straight A student you still might get favored in that case

    Plus your a "family friend"

    Basically the son of her friend

    Usually in that case its like they consider your like their own

    And to addults they always find it cute when the children grow up and find new things about themselves and the environment

    Other than that, I don't know XD

    • cool! I though I was alone in the concept of family/friendship

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What Girls Said 5

  • It stems from the double standard that women are supposed to be pure and that men can't control themselves sexually. This idea is pretty deeply ingrained into our society. The focus is almost always on women---to dress modestly, to not tease or tempt men, to not be available sexually.

  • i didn't grow p with my mom. I think women should dress however they want, so what if people look. if they touch well that's illegal. you don't blame a person when someone breaks into their home. no one has an excuse to violate someones body. so putting the blame on the woman is against the actual law. not seudo- moral interpretations of the law. illegal.

  • It was cute because you were 10 and with that age you're not really seen as being sexual. It would be a lot different if you did that now.

    As for why mothers often don't pick their daughters side I'm not sure, but it may be that many already kinda expect men to look, so you should dress more modest to avoid that

  • I'm not sure why but that's probably a mom who doesn't know how to talk to their daughter

  • its because you can't control a guy looking but you can control how you dress which in turn can make yourself slightly more conservative so that guys won't be staring at just your body. but I do agree it is a double standard. and it kind of makes me sick that the mom encouraged you looking at her or well didn't discourage you from it. but not much you can do about how that mom views her daughter.

    • lmao! about the last part, is because I'm latino and latino mothers don't like their kids being whoozies. so don't be surprise if you see a latino mother encouraging their/or other kids when they do some type of perverted stuff

What Guys Said 2

  • Because guys can't control (supposedly) looking @ girls - but a girl can choose what she wants to wear. Sounds like the mother's scolding of the daughter was justified.

    • nothing happens from looking. there's no reason to control her daughters clothing. if a guy DID something, then he's going against the law. that's on him, not the girl. so there is no reason for any of this drama.

  • Because women know exactly what the other girl is doing, dressing skimpily to attract attention. Why do you think women are so catty toward each other?

    Because they know when another girl does something there is ALWAYS a reason. Women are very calculating. Their entire network is a web of give and take, and positioning for themselves. In the case you mention, the woman is not only calling the girl out about the skimpy outfit, she calls her out also because it takes away from her own attraction and she can't stand it. Women are extremely competitive and jealous creatures. Unlike guys, most of that competition is done very covertly, but is ruthless to the extreme. Women almost never forget nor forgive someone interferring with their plans, possessions or sense of self.

    • ooohh I have noticed this. but never knew this would apply to my case, but it makes sense

    • and you know tis because you are a woman.

    • Comment on the content instead of offering lame feedback like that. Your answer was: women are allowed to wear whatever they want, men can look but not touch, that's the law. First of all, no you're not allowed to wear anything you want in public places, there are laws regarding indecent exposures so your argument is incorrect already. In addition, your answer has nothing to do with the question asked.

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