Was I being over sensitive?

a few days ago I was over at my boyfriends and he was on the computer and I was relaxing on his bed and I look over and he was on a site called reddit. but he kept clicking gonewild pics. and saying why do I keep clicking these but he kept doing it. and then he said new game compare everyone to my girlfriend. and I felt kinda crappy. I don't have a problem with him watching p*rn when I'm not there or if we watch it together. but it bugged me that he kept looking at these girls with me right in the room. and they weren't girls from p*rn they were actual girls,if that makes sense so it bugged me a bit more for some reason. I was a bit quiet so he asked what was wrong but I didn't wanna tell him in case I was being stupid but he pryed it out of me. he said he understood and he said I'm sorry and I'm not gonna lie,some of those girls were better looking then I felt worse even though I know its true of course and he realized he was digging a hole and stopped but I still feel like a jerk for some reason. was I in the wrong?
uh and I meant to put this in relationships ><


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you're not. You felt insecure, you were honest, and you weren't offensive.

    Different things make different people upset and its important that you know what these things are so you can tell him and he can avoid them :) Sure, for him this might have been a way to compliment you, but now he knows that if he wants to compliment you he should just do it and not make a game of it.

    If you're feeling guilty, let him know-- but don't disregard how you feel just because of guilt. If something bothers you, say it.

    Maybe if you feel guilty because you felt like you overreacted (and it doesn't sound like you did) you can apologize for overreacting and thank him for understanding how it made you felt.


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What Guys Said 2

  • No, your "boyfriend" was and is an insensitive jerk, nothing wrong with how you acted. I'm actually shocked you didn't give him more of a lashing for it. No guy should ever contribute to making his girlfriend or wife feel inferior to another woman.

  • There's a couple things going on here. Unless you are in the very top 1% of looks for either men or women, there is always going to be someone that has you beat in the looks department. What that means is that you are best off not obsessing about being the most beautiful, but it also means you probably should talk to your boyfriend about his tastes if it bothers you that much. Judging by your post above, it did.

    The thing of it is, he is getting a bit of a mixed message. If he watches p*rn with or without you, he probably just views those real girls as just "more girls", whereas you took it personally because it "isn't p*rn". P*rn does this to the male mind. It takes the emotional connection away from sex and sexuality and turns it into something to be consumed like junk food. The way he handled it was very poor, there's no doubt about it.

    Nonetheless, I suggest you google up on p*rn and how many men (including potentially your boyfriend) view p*rn as something that becomes compulsive, always searching for a new and more beautiful girl. It is an addiction and needs to be viewed as such.

    • i know there will always be someone hotter than me. all I ask is that when were out and he looks at other girls to keep it subtle. and I told him even looking at regular girls or p*rn doesn't bother me at all if he watches it when I'm not there. or if its somthing we do together to get turned on.

What Girls Said 1

  • Not for a SECOND should you even feel like you're in the wrong. That's your insecurities speaking. Please know that you are worth so much more than this, and that there is someone who thinks that you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and would never dream of comparing you to women on the internet. This guy is a total sh.tbag, and I would advise you to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. You are NOT the jerk, believe that. Believe in yourself, and in your values. You deserve someone who gives you attention when you're around.


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