Why is it that so many people can not handle corrective criticism when they ask for judgment?

I noticed if some one tells certain people the truth when they ask for it and it's negative the asker gets mad and defensive... Then you are ugly, jealous, mean, ect..I personally love the truth when someone lies to me that's when I get mad. I some times have friends ask me how does my make up look? does it look like I did it right ?(copying me) I usually do cat eyes and a lot of people love it. Some one ask me if they are pretty, If they are I'll say yes and give reasons.. but If not then I say no and give reasons...

Wouldn't you prefer someone be honest with you before you go out looking like I fool?

  • I'd prefer honesty
    Vote A
  • I just ask for opinion if I think everyone will say I'm what I think I am?
    Vote B
  • Sometimes I can't handle corrective criticism so I get defensive unknowingly
    Vote C
  • I really don't know
    Vote D
  • Other/ results
    Vote E
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Friend does her make up and it doesn't look right on her.

Friend: Hey I tried to do cat eyes like you. Does it look right?

Me: It doesn't suit you you should try something different , you're eyes are not the right shape for that or it doesn't suit you're face shape"

Friend: "you're just jealous because someone can do there make up better than you you're a blah blah blah...


but I don't think how I say it as long as I don't say "you look ugly really matters this is a general question


Most Helpful Guy

  • If someone thinks they look good then they are set in that state of mind If you tell them differently then they will get defenive. A lot of people that can not handle it Example} the girls that commented anonymously on here tend to say " It's not what you say it's how you say it" giving the illusion that "it's you it's not me and I can handle it you're just mean about" That's not the case at all. I know because sometimes I get like that and then later I think about it and I'm like " the really weren't being mean.. SOME websites will remove comments so thier users don't get emotionally hurt and only leave the positive feed back like this site for example hins why you only see postive answers on questions like "Am I attractive? Would you date me?" I look at some of them but you never see me comment because those are some pretty unattractive girls. They wouldn't ask a real critic for an answer. The girls on America to model most of them are champs. They are dealiong with real critics also on American Idol. However you'll see there are some that state " They don't know talent, They don't know beauty" not sure if this will help but... Negative criticism can have the effect that the people criticized feel attacked or insulted by it, so that they either do not take it seriously, or react badly to it. Much often depends on how much negative criticism there is, and how much criticism is transmitted at once. People can handle some negative criticism, but they may not be able to handle a whole lot of negative criticism, at least not all at once.

    The downside of negative criticism is, often, that it tells people what they cannot or should not do or believe, rather than telling them what they can or should do (what possibilities or options there are). So it may be disabling, rather than enabling. People might reply to a negative criticism that "this is all very well, but I cannot do anything with it", or they might say "now what?!". Yet, negative criticism may be very necessary at times, to prevent a course of action which would be harmful to the people concerned. If people would be afraid to state a negative criticism, this might make the existing problem so much worse.

    The upside of negative criticism is that it can explain what the limitations of an idea, an action or a situation are, for the sake of being realistic. Sometimes it is necessary to say "no" to something (and explain why "no" is "no").

    • that's a lot of reading I do that too sometimes and realize it was dumb but I apologize to the person that I got defensive to but I never go as far as accusing them of being jealous or call them derogatory names. unless of course they call me one first

    • there ya go

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

    • And another. this has no explaining how would you say it then?

  • how are you delivering that criticism?

    • it doesn't really matter if he or she asked for it

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    • There was no arguement there if it doesn't suit you then it doesn't its black and white. So say oh you're pretty when you look like a gobblin. you don't sound like you can handle it. Even when its not directed to you but I think you are one of the two girls I just got on this site. jail bait and whose prettier? look where the meanest comes in AFTER they start getting rude with me

    • yes I did not see any sort of argument. How is she suppose to say it" you look swell today but here wear this instead slap it on the girls face?"

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